Strangers, An Offering to the LORD

What is an offering that would please the LORD?  Malachi 3:8-10,

"Will a man rob God?
Yet you have robbed Me!
But you say,
‘In what way have we robbed You?’
In tithes and offerings.
You are cursed with a curse,
For you have robbed Me,
Even this whole nation.
Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the Lord of hosts,
“If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it."

Does God want an offering of your money? Sometimes. I suppose if it has the power to bring the nations to Christ, then yes. But on the other hand sometimes God likes to accomplish things without our resources, so we can see the difference between our effort and God's power; so He can increase His own fame.

Simon trying to buy the Spirit he already had as a believer, Acts 8

The prophetic book of Isaiah ends with an interesting take on offerings made to God.  It describes STRANGERS as the offering God is seeking. Isaiah 66:18-21,

"For I know their works and their thoughts. It shall be that I will gather all nations and tongues; and they shall come and see my glory. I will set a sign among them; and those among them who escape I will send to the nations: to Tarshish ad Pul and Lud, who draw the bow, and Tubal and Javan, to the coastlands afar off who have not heard My fame nor seen My glory. And they shall declare My glory among the Gentiles. Then they shall bring all your brethren for an offering to the LORD out of all nations, on horses and in chariots and in litters, on mules and on camels, to My holy mountain Jerusalem," says the LORD, "as the children of Israel bring an offering in a clean vessel into the house of the LORD. And I will also take some of them for priests and Levites," says the LORD.

While some of the evangelism described here makes us think these verses are fulfilled in the church age (now), all brothers from all nations have not been brought to Jerusalem (being referred to as the holy mountain which speaks of the future dispensation).

If the age of the 1000 year reign of Christ is characterized by this, shouldn't our Spiritual duty today look the same?   From the beginning of the promise uttered to Abraham, God has been patiently seeking the redemption and transformation of unchurched people!  The excellence... of the power of God on display in lives being changed.  What if that is what He will have His servants offer Him?

And if in the Kingdom era there will be literal pilgrimages to Jerusalem of new believers in Jesus, shouldn't that be fulfilled now in a Spiritual sense?  Malachi 1:7-8,

"You offer defiled food on My altar,
But say,
‘In what way have we defiled You?’
By saying,
‘The table of the Lord is contemptible.’
And when you offer the blind as a sacrifice,
Is it not evil?
And when you offer the lame and sick,
Is it not evil?"

If this is true, ...  Then what, do you think possibly...

Lame  = ?

Sick = ?

Blind = ?

Disciple Making Means the Unchurched will Follow Him

We quote God's Word in the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) a lot, but what does a discipling movement look like? The word "disciple" means "follower, learner".  Disciple-making therefore means making disciples of the unchurched. Wait a second, you might say: I make disciples of the people who already attend church!  Isn't that also disciplemaking?  Well, of substance yes, but let me explain a little further.

By definition, a disciple is someone who is willing to follow Jesus. Once someone is willing to follow, then your engagement in making a disciple is done.  The disciple is made - and a certain amount of maintenance remains.  We might differentiate disciple-maintaining from disciple-making.

Help me tell the story of Jesus....  Jesus saw the crowds following Him, picked out 12 to be His first missionaries... and then: did He send them to minister to the crowds already following Him on foot?  

Is that how the story goes??  No :)  On two occasions (prior to Pentecost) Jesus gave the 12 the power to speak and do as He did.  Who were they sent to?  They were empowered to reach the nearby villages where people had not heard the good news so they could be given the chance to follow Jesus too.

The Necessary Work of "Disciple-Maintenance" (Shepherding)

"Disciples" are the willing.  They showed up.  How about at church?  Who shows up at church, usually?  Isn't it the willing?  Those who have chosen in some motivation to follow Christ?

Jesus didn't concern Himself with developing the 12 missionaries' Christianity very far at all before He anointed them to successfully make followers of the LORD. They weren't intelligent, they weren't professionals.  It's not necessary for a "movement."  We all want Christians to have character, granted; and they will by God's grace.

God has a plan in disciple-maintenance, and maybe that is your passion to serve Him.  What I mean by "disciple-maintenance" is the giftings of Shepherd and Teacher.  In His concern for sin, Jesus said, "You follow me because I fed you the bread."  He continually ministers to develop godly character. This is the sanctification process and we're all working on becoming who He has destined us to be.  We come together as a Body to refresh and strengthen our willingness to follow, to learn.

There is a small percentage of followers that aren't what they seem.  But even that God has under control.  On occasion, disciple-maintenance leads us down a road of departure.  Followers "work themselves out."  1 John 2:19,

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us.

His Power is in Disciple-Making Movements

How big is the testimony of God in the world if we only offer up the incremental faith of the already faithful? Compare the faith of Paul from the writings of 1 Timothy to 2nd Timothy - can you see his faith grow between writing these two books?  Probably not, I'd guess.  By contrast, can you tell the difference between Saul the persecutor of Christians, and Paul the convert of Jesus?  Absolutely!  Conversion is His renown!  Isaiah 61:5,6,9,

Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers....
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast....
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the LORD has blessed. 

Would our God be more awe-inspiring, and be more glorious if we could bring the unchurched, the un-gathered, the non-following?   Saved... from the grip of hell on earth, transformed like nobody's business?  Can you remember the last time you heard the story of someone who just accepted Jesus as Savior?  What happened to your soul?  The newly converted remind us of what is important.  I love to hear how touching it is for a person to finally meet God in all His love for them.  How "lame" in transformation are wonderfully but predictably faithful Christians compared to a babe in Christ?  Malachi 1:12-13,

"You also say,
‘Oh, what a weariness!’
And you sneer at it,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick;
Thus you bring an offering!
Should I accept this from your hand?”
Says the Lord."

Stolen = Researchers have been reporting that most church growth statistics come from transfers from other congregations of people who are already Christians...?

What if the most beautiful offering in God's eyes is the testimony of His presence in a stranger's life?  What if He loves to hear a new people overwhelmed to discover God as alive, as powerful, as near, as protective, as saving, as gracious.

It can't be bought with money.

Can you give it to Him?

Hungry for Mission

a post originally written on 11/11/12.

"Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."  John 4:10

Jesus is hungry.  Jesus is also thirsty.  Jesus "must needs go through Samaria."  What does the God of the universe need that He does not already have?  The redemption of man in these three years of His life.  His mission: to come and reconcile us.  He needs his bride.  If He does not find His bride, His purpose is failed.  Without a Bride,  Jesus doesn't drink.  Jesus doesn't eat.  When Jesus was low on sustenance, he goes on a mission trip.

No he wasn't talking about earthly food.  His followers think this means earthly food.  They look around a place like Samaria and think, "If we are going to eat in this place, it will have to be brought in from somewhere else."  They take off to get the food, meanwhile Jesus sits down to the feast.

Jesus needs to succeed at His mission to win us.  But if we should not comply and let ourselves be won over by Him, then He has failed.  In that sense, Jesus is thirsty and hopes that His people will give Him a drink.

There is no spiritual food and there is no spiritual drink without a mission trip.  The water is meant to irrigate my sphere of influence and spill out like a flowing moving body of water (streams of living water will flow out from within).  The irrigated area of my sphere of influence is supposed to bear fruit.

So I thought that God was supposed to make the water flow from within me?  But in fact I find that I want most to have God flow His life-giving water out through my life when I come across a person who doesn't know Him at all.  That is why Jesus is thirsty to be around the Samaritan woman.

Why would anyone rob Jesus, mission?  Why would anyone rob Jesus water and food?

"You will ask, 'When did we give you a drink?  When did we feed you?'  I will answer, 'Whoever does this to the least of my brethren, He does it unto Me.'"

Why do I rob Him drink and food?  I get busy and caught up with the finer things in life, such as writing blog posts.

We think that it's hard.  We think that it's hard to find success as a missionary because it's hard in the places we want to win people.  But, it's not.  It really isn't.  That is what Jesus is telling us here.  The disciples look around Samaria and think there is no way to barter for food.  They're totally wrong.  "Do you not say, 'There are still four months and then comes the harvest?  Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest!" If we are willing to get out of our earthly families as Jesus left His, reaping the harvest is unbelievably easy.  It is already ready!  All we have to do is drink, like Jesus is drinking.  Drink the water of mission.  We can make our prayers about mission.  Ask and He will pour water through you to others.

My Daughter, Grace, Sept 2012

Grace has now started attending middle school!  It has been an amazing transition for all of us this summer.  She no longer has to wear uniforms to school, and we have had fun shopping for things that are just her style.  There was a camp for incoming sixth graders a couple weeks before school started where she got to see her classrooms and see where her locker was going to be, and she learned how to open a combination.  All of her girlfriends are traveling on with her from elementary school.  They are the "nerdy girl" lunch table as of last year's experience of fifth grade.  Grace has at least one of these girlfriends in every single class she's got this year (seven classes total).  What a comfort!  And she has been excited that her home economics teacher will be a familiar face from Salem First B.!

Grace, age 11

Her favorite subject is reading, and her favorite books are fantasy and mysteries.  For a long time she has wanted to be an agent for the FBI when she grows up, just like her grandfather (my dad).  Last year according to test scores she told me she's "the fifth smartest girl at school."  I don't know for sure what that means, but I am happy that she has great grades and does her homework most often without being told.

Last year at the end of school there was a final concert for band and orchestra students.  Grace won the "most improved" award for 5th grade band, an honor which only 4 other students received!  Here's her story about the trumpet: she had started the year with it and from September till November she kept trying to make all the notes correctly, could not do it, and was beginning to fall behind even though she never gave up.  Her teacher said, "would you like to try another instrument?"  The flute was suggested and she got very excited.  She borrowed a flute and her teacher said, "She learned in three days what the other kids took a month to learn."  She is very proud of her accomplishments - and the band teacher said that the entire class is very talented when it comes to having a sense for musicality - Grace was included in that acknowledgement.  Amazing, Grace!

Grace has also been on leadership for the last two years of elementary school.  Teachers select students for the privilege of leadership.  At the beginning of last year the staff met with the ten students who are in leadership and asked them this question: "What can we do to serve our community?"  Grace came home and we began to discuss potential ideas.  We considered how our church (Salem First B.) in the previous year had gone to Marion & Polk County Food Share to help organize food distribution to the poor.  She loved that idea especially since the facility is right across the Parkway from the school.  The teachers selected Grace's suggestion!  They were in the Keizer Times, with a photograph as they served the M&PCFS.  Amazing, Grace!

Grace is blossoming in her relationship with the LORD.  A couple years ago we discovered that Grace was suffering with some substantial doubt that God is really real.  Rather than seeing information as the missing piece to her knowing God, because she already knew the Bible so well, we took another route. We began with Jeremiah 29:13 which says,

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

I began reading to all the children at bedtime a chapter or two from the bible.  We started in Genesis 12 with the story of Abraham, and now we are half way through Exodus (we get into seasons where we don't read at night because the kids use it for advancing naughtiness).  Through it all we have seen the power of God and how He promised to do things hundreds of years before they happened.  We have seen how God is the one who holds all the burden of seeing a covenant come to pass.  We have seen how transformative it can be to put our faith in Him.

I have waited to see where her heartbeat really lies in her life, and she has shared both good and burdensome things.  Recently she took a spiritual gifts test and discovered her gifts are evangelism and compassion.  Her number one sense of crisis that causes her to want to trust God to help her is with anxiety.  I regret that I might have passed on a bad example to her because she somehow feels responsible for a lot....  But when she does notice things that make her uncomfortable, she prays about it.  Then afterward she says "it went away!" and we praise God.  Amazing, Grace!

Every once in a great while I ask Grace "Do you know that you are saved?  What if you just know the scriptures and you have not really trusted in Him to save you?  How do you know?"  Her answer after a moment of reflection is to totally dismiss my inquiry and she says, "I know that I am saved... because when I prayed to him, I told Him that I didn't want to be at the far end of the table away from Him, at the fellowship dinner.  I want to be able to see Him and be near Him.  And, Mom, He gave me so much joy!  I can't tell you how awesome it feels!  I just felt so good.  I just felt so happy thinking about Him."  She laughs out loud when she tells me this because it so overwhelms her voice and face, that she can't even put words on it.  Amazing, Grace!  Romans 15:13,

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Grace has been longing to share the truth with a couple of girls her age, all summer long.  Most especially her cousin.  She has deployed herself to share how awesome it is to believe in Jesus and know Him with her cousin, and then she comes back to me and we debrief how it went.  Her cousin was possibly deflecting the conversation of Christ, and Grace came back confused.  I suggested she ask her cousin straightforwardly if she wanted to talk about Christ only because Grace wanted to talk about it or was she sincerely interested herself?  Grace came back and reported another discouraging moment: the cousin was in fact not interested in much beyond going to heaven.  I kind of left Grace with no response for a couple weeks on that, because I mean, I feel the same way, lost, when I come to a dead end, too.  But I prayed about it and talked to Grace again.  I explained how we are meant to share the gospel with those who listen to us, not just the people we love the most.  And I suggested Psalm 1 as a way for her to bring closure to her cousin and her choice.  She felt a lot better after that.

But there was a day, in the car, where Grace really experienced an epiphany of the Spirit.  She wouldn't stop talking about God, to me, and ask me questions about what God is like and how He engages Himself.  I stopped answering her questions very quickly.  Instead, I asked her to answer her own questions.  What does she perceive is going on?  Then for what she said that was true, I quoted scripture after scripture to her to verify by His Word that she was right on track.  It kind of amplified her as she continued.  For a couple of hours on and off in the evening hours, she began sobbing.  She wanted so much for her cousin to know the love and joy of God.  She didn't understand how to manage the thought that her cousin didn't have God as she had known Him.  Again, for awhile I didn't know how to answer her.  All I could think about is how I felt like that so much, before.  I prayed again, and explained from the wisdom He gave me in that moment, that trusting Him would help.  "As you entrust your cousin to God, the burden in your heart will fall on Him.  And He will not disappoint you.  He will give you encouragement, every once in awhile, that He is going to take care of your cousin.  He is going to do it.  Pray!  Tell Him what you are telling me."  She did.  She still wept a bit.  But, she felt better; she acted relieved.

Lizzy had been in the backseat during this most emotional moment, and was quiet the whole time.  In the silence afterward Lizzy slipped a drawing forward and gave it to Grace.  There was a picture of two girls together and a sentence:

When I grow up I want to be just like Grace.

The Slippery Slope

My senior pastor is lining up with Peacemaker Ministries to have leadership of our church trained by their materials. When he handed me a brochure the other day, I recognized it right away. Perhaps you have already read the book or at least seen their website?

The response we give to conflict can be corrupted through time. This is why in Ken Sande's book titled, "The Peacemaker," he has called it a "slippery slope."

Rebroadcasted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande (Baker Books, 3d ed., 2003). Peacemaker^® Ministries www.Peacemaker.net

As you can see, being in either the blue (escape) or red (attack) zones does not resolve conflict. For more explanation, visit this page (below) on their website. As I read just this little bit I was ministered to.

The Slippery Slope of Conflict

Peacemaker Ministries has made available a free download of the first chapter of their flagship book, "The Peacemaker," by Ken Sande. Click here to access.

-PUSH-

the gospel

neighbors

parents

children

husband

children's ministries

extended family

church cohorts

long distance friends

internet buddies

Birthright acquaintances

grocery checker

homeless man

overstressed mom

wayward sister

PUSH

me + Jesus

There are things I want to do with my life. The gospel kindles a fire in my bosom and it makes me want to leave my nets behind and follow Him on some wild and amazing adventure. Why doesn't everyone desire to find their purpose in the gospel as much as I? They slow me down like a child who has wrapped his body around my leg while I try to walk. Sometimes I feel like looking down at the metaphorical child to declare, "Go away!" Don't they recognize that I am set on ascending?

Jesus was someone who was known for getting "underneath." He lifted others up so that they were hoisted toward God's light and love. Luke 22:25-28 -

And He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves."

I might do as Jesus has. The good news is living and demonstrating its worth because I permit a carry-on. These are someone(s) who just do not understand God's wonderful grace. They come in between me and another measure of closeness I might gain to fulfill my dreams in Christ. As long as I keep a keen eye on the light of the gospel, all the re-positioning and pushing is not as burdensome as it looks. The gospel fuels passion in the heaving, sufficiently. Ha! God's goodness is powerful enough not only to lift me but many people at once!

I know I'm going to get there just the same because His light does not lie. In fact it is probably God's will that I would be made fit for service to the gospel later on by learning this lesson now. "Hold on tight; you're coming with me."

I'll get there one day... but not without my brother.

Twin gospel concerns

There are two thoughts I have had stemming from watching children respond to the gospel last June.

This year's CEF five-day kid's club had twenty-six children. A few of them were ones I felt had never heard the gospel before, and two little girls who believed in Jesus that week were ones whose mom was reluctant to let them go when I met her. Praise God!

CEF later sent the attendance record sheet for my club with all the names of the kids along with a general newsletter. At the bottom there was a tally:

Decisions, First Time: 6

Assurance: 1

I know most of these kids pretty well. One of the "first times" is my niece. She is five so perhaps she did not understand previous presentations of the gospel. She doesn't have a church-going family but she has me and AWANA. I wonder - was this really her first moment of faith in Jesus?

Another one is a boy belonging to a Spanish pentecostal church, but the mom seems to have a very good understanding of scripture and an active faith life. I wonder... was this really his first profession of faith?

Another eight year old girl is one I am pleased with. She came to the backyard club last year and I am sure, she was a "first time professor" of faith at that time. Then she came to club this year and is again a "first time professor" of the faith. Then I directly took her the following Monday with me to church to a VBS program, and Bonnie and the bible story teacher pulled me aside and said, "She accepted Christ today, but, she seemed to know a lot about the gospel. Was this really her first time?" I said, actually no. They said, "Hmm. Well, you might read her john 10 or other assurance passages."

I am concerned. A 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 gospel message is a/the gospel that saves the lost. Those who are receiving the Word of God are often not expressing faith that they are saved. What if the gospel has become just a list of beliefs to profess? What if the children do not understand that they have been invited by Jesus Christ to receive the gift of eternal life? This is one point of reflection I have gained through this experience.

But I have a second point of concern.

There were some older boys and their little gang who I had longed to share the gospel with last summer but they do not live in this area and disappeared for the '08-'09 school year. I was thrilled to see them wandering around again this summer. I invited them but they didn't show up till the following week. Monday at two o' clock there was a knock on the door. "We're here for the club!" they declared. I laughed and said, "You missed it, I'm so sorry guys!" They asked what they missed, and I said, "come here and I'll show you!" They all sat patiently through the CEF Wordless Book gospel. I had them bow their heads and hopefully pray with me according to their own sense of believing what they had heard from scripture about becoming a child of God. Those two boys said, "We want to learn how to read the bible." I said, come and see me and I will teach you, okay?

I was pretty excited about that but somehow they did not come around very often. Then two weeks ago they showed up saying, "We want to take Grace [my daughter] with us to church on Sunday. Can she come??"

Hmm. "What church?"

"Oh, it's just down that way, you know that one? They are giving out ten dollars to the one who brings the most friends with on Sunday. We just get on the bus in the morning when it comes by." I've seen that bus. I know the church "down there." It's the Oneness Pentecostals, who will tell them, eventually after they've begun to build relationships with the people there, that they aren't truly saved till they've spoken in tongues after being immersed in water.

The eight-year-old girl I spoke of above, the one who now three times has professed faith in Jesus "for the first time" is one of those kids getting on the bus. This makes me very upset. I have been praying about what to do.

They've come back over and hung out. I told all of them them in a serious manner that I want them to know for sure that Jesus accepts them unconditionally because of their believing in the cross and I've read them john 6:47. I've done this two times when they've been with me. But now, all they're thinking about is ten dollars. Some church will pay them money, to attend. And they want money, because they're kids. What can I offer them? What can Christ offer them that will over-ride what this church has decomposed the gospel to be about?

All this hard work that CEF has done, that I have been desiring for their sake, is now at risk. This is when the sectarian group moves in and does what they do best.

Should I play on the same terms? I was thinking much better than anything I can do to convince them to be cautious with them is to implant the Word into their hearts and minds. I have tentatively decided to pay each child one dollar for every scripture they will work to memorize. That way it's guaranteed and based on their own accomplishment.

Then, even if they go to that church, and their members tell them, "you aren't saved" they will have to battle with scripture itself -

Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life. John 6:47

But I am by no means sure that this is God's will for them. I keep praying, feeling unsettled and unsure. I believe Jesus is capable of doing more amazing things with these little ones than anything I might come up with.

Any suggestions...?

Summer Bible Studies

I am fortunate to be invited into a mixed-denominational bible study of women. A fellow AWANA worker and I had been talking last Spring about how important unity is in the Body of Christ, and I mentioned my blog somewhere along the way. A few weeks ago she said, "I read your blog and I think you'll be pleased. This study presents the gospel with salvation being a gift of God and given freely. It's all about God's grace and how we cannot earn it, just receive it."

Enjoying God's Grace, by Terry Virgo

I am enjoying it, and at this time I am even hosting it. The former host has recently given birth to her fifth child. The other women and I make for a total of nineteen children which need care as we gather. The system they initiated was to put them outside in the backyard with a sitter and then all of us chip in for payment. So far, so good.

This is an answer to prayer! I've been desiring to have a bible study for the neighbors just out of my reach. Look what God did. It just materialized out of thin air! So all I have to do is rely on Jesus to give me opportunities to run into my neighbor who I've been ministering to, while she's hanging out with some of them that I barely are acquainted with. Yesterday, I got my first chance. I invited this one woman. I'd guess neither of them were impressed at my Jesus-ness. I leave it in God's hands.

This Just In: Apparently, I'm still a dork. Sigh! I'm still caring too much about the answer and not enough, not enough, about people. Talk about defying the point of why I was drawn in.

Enjoying God's Grace has helped me to recognize my blind spot. I have been praying to know His will for me and this is what He's showing me at this time. The people I've known the longest really want me to participate relationally with them again. I don't know what's wrong with me. My family, my longest-time girlfriend... something's gone terribly wrong in my attitude! I'm finding their lifestyle as my own stumbling stone! :( How did this happen? That's not what they should be getting from me.... I want their soul to move! I want to win them for Christ. I don't want to convert them to a list of rules, a conformity of whatever I choose.

I'm repenting and I'm praying. Lord, give me a new heart. This one's grown cold.

The other bible study I'm attending is called Discerning the Voice of God: How to Recognize When God Speaks by Priscilla Shirer, daughter of Dr. Tony Evans who is Senior Pastor of Oak Ridge Bible Fellowship, which was the location of the late Zane Hodges' memorial service held last December. I always appreciate it when I discover unyielding strongholds of free grace people at my church. We're only on the second week but thus far I have found it greatly comforting to see that essentially I have been surrendered and "doing things right" though Priscilla doesn't believe in or teach formulas in our relationship with Him.

Finally... there is a loose cord of wonderful cohorts in my church who have caught me up and I think I may be blessed to host this gathering as well. We have all thought that we should go through the book "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. The women who want to read it together are from the entire spectrum of opinions on this! It may end up like "The View" where everyone plays an important role in thinking through what it is they believe and why. I have mixed thoughts. I was sort of "raised" in my faith (Jenn) with this understanding of a woman's role and it was delightful. I actually committed myself to being silent in church for a year or two. I'm ready to hear what God wants me to learn.

(This new cover is so Jenn :D I'm blessed to have an awesome threesome)

knock knock

Guess who showed up at my door last week?

And so we play this game of body language. It's all that's left, but I have consecrated it. Any message is, what; 70% body language anyway? Here is what she does: she recognizes me, forces herself not to be happy, lifts her face toward the sky, and looks far off in the distance, like I do not exist.

From a post titled, The Cult in My Life written November 2008.

She wants me to come to her high school graduation ceremony. Just like my other times spent with the other members of this church, once they end up in conversation, they don't want to let me go. She lingered on standing there, in this awkward silence. Maybe she was wanting something from me, to say something? I don't know. Either way it was a most pleasant exchange as if nothing had ever fallen apart. Hmm! The ceremony is in their sanctuary, and it is tomorrow evening. I am so excited to see them all again. I don't expect to change the pastor's mind, though it seemed to me his knowledge of scripture or even the use of it was spare. But I do plan on taking with me the Zane Hodges/Bob Bryant track "The Best News You'll Ever Hear" which is a track on assurance of salvation, in my opinion excellent for this situation, and I can give it to those who want to talk to me about spiritual things.

There are some other happenings which require my faith and obedience in the coming months.

I mentioned that God was leading me to share Christ with the neighbors just outside my reach. I've talked about one particular neighbor who has recently returned to Christ, in a previous post. I'll call her "Wendy." Wendy has become a delight to my church. She reads "Pilate" as "pilates" and she only started praying a few months back. She wasn't even able to completely understand what Jesus had done for her till she started coming to church with me starting back in December. She loves the LORD so much, and she can't drive, so somehow she has adopted every habit I do, the two bible studies, Sunday morning and Sunday evening services. She cannot wait to be back at church. The ladies at my table were a little uncomfortable at first. She does happen to have the aroma of marijuana, since she has a medical permit to use it.... But they come up to me when she's not around and say, "Wendy is such a breath of fresh air!" I think this quite a testimony to God's priorities of cleansing the inside of the cup or dish before worrying out the outer. She lovingly dotes over her Radmacher Study Bible I bought her, falling asleep and drooling on it as she stays up learning. That's holy drool. :D

She has two sons, ages 13 and 14. The thirteen year old watched baptisms with me and then received Christ in the wordless book. And her older son received Christ while at our church in April. Praise God! Now these two boys are bringing some of their friends to church. I haven't had a report on their belief-status, but one boy belongs to a very troubled family who has a little sister I intend to invite to the Kid's Club next month.

She and I are starting a bible study with the neighbors near her. We've been talking about this for some time, and I didn't do squat. Wendy, on the other hand, did. She has been making what she calls "God-shots," trying to warm them up to recognizing God. She has been reading the left behind series to some of the kids in the neighborhood, too. This is her capability-level at sharing Christ in my opinion. I'm pleased but I've been trying to get her trained to repeat the Wordless Book by CEF. It's perfect since she discovered that doing a bible study would be incredibly intimidating because all of the neighbors are illiterate. We've been struggling on how to do a bible study if they cannot read? We've got some videos.

Wendy wants to start a "God-club." Where we watch a video or talk about God and have lunch. So the first visit was supposed to be at my house this week, but we didn't get it connected again. Sigh. But I am determined more than ever to start, I don't want Satan to distract me.

Also this week, I happened to run into another neighbor, a young mother who never talked about spiritual things with me before. She lamented that one of the Christians in our neighborhood filed a complaint on her, then said she thought she had the most in common with me out of everyone in the neighborhood. I'm glad.... She said she was thinking about starting to go to church. She said she went to church a long time ago before having kids. And for a long time, till recently, she thought that the only way to be saved was by attending church, but now she knows better. I said, "Hold on a sec while I run in the house." I got that track "The Best News You'll Ever Hear," by Hodges/Bryant, and showed her how it just explains for her exactly what she's already learned. I think she is going to come with this very Sunday. As I transport Wendy in my own car, she is going to be following behind me in her own. God's little wagon trail to church!

Oh, so many people in our neighborhood are coming to my church, now. It's crazy! A man who used to work at the corner store who I barely convinced to come walk his son in on the last day of the 5-Day Kid's Club, last summer, started attending a few months later! I remember watching this grown father listening to the teens share Christ.

Now God has broken me recently. He's shown me that I like myself just a little too much for my own good. I see how important it is for me to find my righteousness, in Him, by faith, and without that I'm toast. As a result I've been praying more earnestly asking Him show me what it is He wants me to do. Recently I finished "Teaching Children Effectively" so that I could go on a mission and evangelize children. I thought, Rwanda. Door was really closed. Then I thought, Brazil. Door just closed on that, too. I don't understand. I'm a little confused. Meanwhile when I attended a banquet for CEF I felt another calling to... gulp, start a Good News Club in my elementary school next year. Both my daughters will be attending. It was so hard to even admit it. I just don't know much about organizing and leading it and so forth but I realized God would supply that if it was His desire. So I called Betty and told her my thought. She caught me on Sunday and confirmed that three other people, including a teacher in the school, had contacted her as well in the last three weeks, saying that they were led to start it there, too. Wow. Okay, God.

I do have some interest in going to the Dominican Republic. We'll see.

I just desire that one way or another God will permit me the chance to share the gospel with unsaved women and children. I plan at this point, to be the caregiver for my grandmother during nights. At this time she is not always aware of who is talking with her. I pray for that lucidness so I can share the gospel. Please pray for that too? I'm starting even this evening.

Thanks for visiting.

Authority by healing people

He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath."

(Matt 12:11-12)

The LORD denies the religious excuses made to avoid meeting real human need.

A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, "Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . ." He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"

(Mark 2:1-12)

When the people set a needy man right in front of the One declaring the truth, did He treat that practical portion of ministry as secondary to preaching? On the contrary. He was able to incorporate helping the man as a demonstration of his very lesson. The man rejoiced. The people learned God's truths. And, trust in Christ was made to increase.

Isaiah 28:23-29

Give ear and hear my voice,
Listen and hear my speech.
Does the plowman keep plowing all day to sow?
Does he keep turning his soil and breaking the clods?
When he has leveled its surface,
Does he not sow the black cummin
And scatter the cummin,
Plant the wheat in rows,
The barley in the appointed place,
And the spelt in its place?
For He instructs him in right judgment,
His God teaches him.
For the black cummin is not threshed with a threshing sledge,
Nor is a cartwheel rolled over the cummin;
But the black cummin is beaten out with a stick,
And the cummin with a rod.
Bread flour must be ground;
Therefore he does not thresh it forever,
Break it with his cartwheel,
Or crush it with his horsemen.
This also comes from the LORD of hosts,
Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance.

A new door for the gospel

God has been impressing me with a burden to share Christ with the neighbors just out of my usual reach. You know I'd like to hang out with people "above me" who feed me, who equip me according to the Word of God but in the last several months I feel His admonishment to know that if this is all I've become, I forsake these precious children I see every day from the opportunity of moving from death to life.

The key that I believe God wants to use to unlock this door is my neighbor who is now coming with me to church since December. She knows them all well. Transients, addicted to alcohol, even drug dealers. It doesn't bother me, bring it on, right? She is one of them as far as they are concerned, and that means everything I think for the sake of transmission of the truth. She is truly a delight in my life. I get the opportunity to sit back and watch God just go to town. I'm not doing anything much at all! This lady is drawing new boundary lines in her life, she is desperate to be in God's house and to learn and meditate on the Word of God at all times. I take her to church for nearly all of my own things and she will raise her hand and give a testimony right in the middle of the sunday evening service when it isn't "the right time." To my shame I get a little red in the face at the moment. But she doesn't know what church protocol is, all she knows is, God is revealing Himself and His glory in her heart. She wants to share it.

I trepidly mentioned to her that I want to do a bible study for them, but that I would do it without her if she didn't feel the same way. But she does. She is excited about it. It's pretty obvious to both of us though that this cannot be "a bible study" or they won't come. Okay. So now we're brainstorming. We've been brainstorming the "how" to get them, for two or three weeks. I don't want to stay in this stage, I want to get an idea going and then do it. Satan wants to put it off. So I'm writing this blog post hoping that it'll kick me in gear as my class winds up this Saturday. Perhaps readers have some ideas, and that would be glorious!

So, both of us have two ideas. Mine is, we should just throw a party with no motive. Host them with food and quality time. This is what Jesus did in Matthew's house - he had a party. She thoroughly agrees.

Her idea is, that we should study the book of Revelation. She says she has talked to them and they find the topic of end-times interesting. In fact it was through the Lahaye books that she started realizing how important it was to get her relationship with Christ back in the right place. I have doubts about this. I certainly can't teach it.

Now I would greatly prefer to read the Gospel of John. I think it could get really messy and irrelevant to talk about the end times. On the other hand, just a little interest, combined with love, might make many ask to know the gospel. I am aware that even opening a Bible and having someone read from it can be Spiritually impacting.

I want this neighbor of mine to lead the study. I realize how little biblical knowledge she has, but somehow I do feel that this is God's will. And I will be there too to help make any corrections if they are necessary, at least this is how little I wish to interfere according to my own plans.

I've been praying that God will prepare my heart. This means I gotta get really lowly. Gonna get a little dirty, with life that is. Usually I can span the gap okay, and put aside chipper-Christian girl for a few hours on Fridays because who wants to see my bright shiny life when you realize you're pregnant and your life is falling apart? - and so on. This time I want something really authentic in this lowliness. Where I truly can't see myself as being any better off than they, as if I am one of them, without the sin of course. So I have invited the LORD to humble me.

LORD, humble me. But please, be gentle. Don't leave me, okay?

I love this song.

The "Can I?" Questions

Between the teaching of each color of CEF's Wordless Book presentation of the gospel (detailed in a previous post), I took the opportunity to ask some questions.

The DARK color page bothers me somewhat. Regarding sin, there are things I'm working on theologically speaking. Though there is one question I felt confident in asking.

I asked in class, "Is this okay? The transition between DARK and RED goes like this:

'But God has a wonderful plan so that you and I don't have to be punished for our sins.'

But I'm wanting to include the word 'already' because His plan was set forth from the beginning, that Jesus would come and die for our sins and reconcile us to God. Can I say,

'But God knew from the beginning that we would have this problem and he already had wonderful plan so that you and I don't have to be separated from God'?"

Her reply was, "Michele, this comes down to fine points in theology. We don't want to get into theology with kids."

I said, "Okay, though to me, saying the word 'already' gives them a small dose of comfort to know that their sin is not the totality of God's concerns."

She said, "Yes, of course, there's nothing wrong with saying the word 'already' and this is certainly a variation that is up to you personally."

I thanked her.

Next, during the CLEAN page presentation there were many statements that a prayer would enable them to receive Christ and be saved. To me that was off the mark, and I knew that as long as I was gracious, my next "can I?" question should be well received.

"Got another 'can I?' question," I ventured with a grin. "So, when we are preparing the child to review and respond to the gospel, can I, instead of postponing salvation to think about praying to receive Jesus 'in a little bit,' can I instead encourage them to realize that if they believe those things that they have become a child of God? I'm thinking specifically of examples where, even before the apostles were done preaching, the Holy Spirit fell upon those who were listening and hopefully this is exactly what would happen while we are preaching, too. We want them to look back on this moment and know they're reconciled because they had faith, not because they prayed the prayer, right? That the promises of God are the source of their assurance, and we don't want to postpone them from that foundation of the Word?"

I got a "Wow, yes," from both teachers regarding that. Phew!

"One more 'can-I' question, if you don't mind?" I asked a little later. "On the CLEAN page, as soon as I give them assurance by reading their name into John 1:12, and then I ask them,

'Now what happens if you sin again?'

can I do this? Can I flip right back to the RED page? I want to ask them,

'If you sin again, well, tell me, what happened at the cross? Did He die for that sin? Yes! He did! And because you believe He died for those sins, what? The CLEAN page reminds us that we are a child of God, right? Yes! That will never change, will it? So when you sin you go right back to the cross and remember what He did, there, okay?'

and then I can go into next how they ought to confess their sin?"

Another "Yes!" with an illuminated smile. She liked that idea a lot, because it puts the cross of Christ as the central fixture of the Christian walk. I love it! With one KA-POW! I knock out all the cults. I saw a lot of Catholics and other teenagers beg to understand that part of the Wordless Book at the fair.

I am thankful that somehow my editions to the CEF gospel were allowed and even taken well!

Because I know my opinions don't matter, and most likely they never will. I live down here in the real world where, if I want to serve with the support of those who make me qualified, I have to be incorporated into what is already available. CEF has a few bits of unsound principles to their gospel, but if I happen to know better (theologically), then what should I do?

Truth and grace advance one another.

I attend a church where free grace has gone into retirement. The leadership has packed up and moved away. The congregation is asking itself, "where are we now?" I listen and this is what I hear from fellow congregants:

"I understand, and I agree that we are saved by faith alone but I've always believed that."

"I understand that everything we do now matters in eternity but what about holiness? I know we're saved by faith but God wants us to live holy lives!"

"The pendulum for awhile was swinging away from Lordship Salvation, toward Free Grace; and now the pendulum is swinging back the other way."

It didn't impact sufficiently did it? Then there are some at my church who have decided that free grace is a divisive teaching. After seven years of graciously and patiently preaching the free grace gospel Sunday mornings and the doctrine of eternal rewards in the evenings, it is impossible to know why it would not take root.

I hold that reputation is nearly everything, it is more important than "being right right now."

I'm concerned to think that my church might be a microcosm of the movement, fast-forward say a few more years. I consider how few evangelicals have heard of the doctrine of eternal rewards. It has the power to completely overthrow the backloaded gospel. Think about what we're asking, for some people. It completely re-orders how they understand their walk with God. For some Christians it's a big deal.

It is incomprehensible how the LORD only let me in on the tail of seven years of free grace teaching. That is why it hurts so much that free grace is gone. It is surreal to have such confirmation only to be left alone again. My voice never mattered, but when I could say that others believe as I do, then I had legitimacy. Since 2005 I have been saying, "Can I?" to pastors and friends. They thought I was wrong even though I had the Word, but when I found free grace, whose mission is to protect the integrity of faith which saves, I wasn't wrong any longer. I need others with titles, experience, and a reputation, in order to make it!

Though that is not completely true. Being alone now with little more than God, well, He's not so bad a partner. Every day I wake up and put on the fragrance of the joy of the LORD. I went back to my old, soft-LS class and raised my hand, then was told hence-forth that I should not disagree in the presence of the class. Still I see God's power in my life. Defending the doctrine of faith alone to justify and sanctify turns out to be a full time job, always something here or there to say and for some reason, I am used for that job and I am pleased!

My goal is to both submit to theological authorities who are in some things wrong, and still speak the truth manifesting hope in them. When I can't speak, I always have faith which is His Spirit accomplishing much on my behalf. I don't give up on the truth. How could I? For that reason free grace means so much to me. I want to see it endure. I need it very much.

"Can I?" -- That's theology in the real world. Where having friends who will stand up with me, saves not only my passionate conscience amongst the saints, but most significantly the power of God's truth.

Marks of the Ministry

As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,

"In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you."

I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.

We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

Here are some practical ideas, I know they are random. I hope each of you will brainstorm and make more progress than I and I am sure you will because I am the least theologically educated amongst the bloggers (I admit it and I know it's true). Let me start with some.

1 -- Public prayer. I don't think public prayer is a sin, it's just a sin if that's the only praying going on for that person.... Prayer praises God, and that cleanses us. It includes God... one of the specifically neat things about prayer is that when we make requests we get to hope in God to answer them right here in the midst of discussions. He gets the glory.

2 -- Public worship. I realize some people hold convictions possibly that keeps them from fellowship with others. We don't want to harm their preferences according to their conviction. They are free to choose whether to join in on an individual basis, but it is good for them to see worship in the lives of those holding "wrong beliefs" just as they also offer up praise to God.

3 -- Dealing with anger immediately. Holding something against your brother affects the worship God finds acceptable. Forgiveness should be a regular practice.

4 -- Praising strengths. If we could spend a little more time praising strengths and correct intentions and theology, we would see how much there is to praise God and thank Him for. He commanded us to always pray with thanksgiving.

5 -- Freedom of conscience but bound to community. Practicing the truths brought to us in Romans 14 on disputable matters, we should be careful to both defend freedom yet not spoil the weaker brothers.

6 -- Human need is more important than advertising doctrine. I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

7 -- Practice faith. This is the only thing that pleases God. Theological discussion isn't "good" unless it appropriates trust in God to supply according to our needs.

8 -- Hope and love. Love is the greatest and most essential aspect to obeying God.

9 -- Be looking intently for your returning brother. The Father saw the prodigal son and met him on the road far down from the house. That's because he was always looking for him. Brainstorm creative ways to encourage your brother toward confession of his problem-spots.

10 -- We might be best to camp a few steps short of undertaking Paul's authority. Dr. Dave Anderson said during the FGA discussion panel in regards to heresy, that he wasn't sure when it was the right time to label "heresy" and stop discussion because he hadn't been given the authority which Paul had to declare gospel in scripture. Ever-being students of the Word we can make some good cases but I think at this time, has not everyone been proven a heretic -a schismatic- at minimum? I think so. I think everybody's been put on that list. If our neighbor is teaching "heresy" -- it'll be the last thing they admit as they are led through the scriptures. If we focus on scripture and focus on grace and the power of God, we might take them the right way, and all the way to repentance.

11 -- Fellowship is by faith. We know what walking in the Spirit looks like; the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. God purifies both "them" and "us" by faith. We are equally useful to Him in that sense so we can not condemn that which God has called clean.

12 -- Information ought to redeem, not condemn. Jesus used information not to exclude, but to creatively and personally redeem the wayward. This is the purpose for apologetics.

13 -- Exercising free will is good. It is good to surrender others in faith to the holy conviction that comes by the Spirit after we're done sharing our beliefs. The good news is God chastens legitimate sons.

14 -- Restoration. A Christian sitting on the sidelines is not God's will. He wants to have His children active in the ministry to which they've been called.

If we could encourage one another to more of these things... I think it will only bring us blessing from the LORD. Now I don't mean to appear self-righteous and jump the gun by making this list before others have (if they were planning it). I see that most everybody already practices these things at least in their own lives as well as on the internet, and have been for some time. I realize I haven't listed anything new to any of you. My interest has always been to humanize the internet for FGT. (True religion is man-focused & God-focused.)

I purposely left this post un-theologized, un-poetic and un-complicated. I want God's Spirit, His own "open heart" be the main focus....

Something that haunts me

1. Free speech gives you the right

2. The Word of God makes what you say, true; therefore....





I suppose it's even possible to be fundamentalist about being anti-fundamentalist...

Praise the LORD!

I have three stories to tell for which I praise the LORD!

The first story is continued out from a blog post titled, "The Hearer's Destruction?" In that post I shared a bit about my best friend -- a confessing atheist -- and her son.

You won't believe this...!

Nothing has changed in this many years, till last Friday morning. She called me and began saying, "I never thought I'd be telling you this." She explained that her (now ten year old son) has been persistent lately in asking his atheist mother questions about Jesus Christ and salvation. He said to her (from my recollection): "Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he died on the cross for my sins. That's how I know I am going to heaven. Mom, are you going to heaven?"

So, being a former AWANA clubber in her childhood herself, my friend, his mother, began to answer some of his questions. There's only so much she can tell him. He wants to know more. He keeps making inquiries about Noah's Ark and what it means to be God's Son. My friend chose me (and not an alternate Christian friend in her life), to begin to take her son to church, to AWANA, starting next week. I can't even believe that she wants her son to go to church, at all! I am floored!

....

A few months ago, Kevin (the administrator of the blog titled "On My Walk") and I had a lengthy and interesting discussion. We discussed how we keep a manner of grace while encouraging obedience.

In the beginning of our conversation I shared with Kevin another personal story from my experiences - a neighbor who might have been offended by the political sign sticking in my lawn. I want to share an amazing update. As I write this she has repented of her alternative lifestyle of several years, she told me mid-December. This woman could have chosen from four Christian families on my street, to begin finding encouragement in her newly devoted walk with Christ, including the pastor of a local baptist church; but, she chose me. Now I take her to church all the time and have her in my home.

At times it is humbling, to commune with a child of God who has seen tough days in battle with Satan. A couple of nights ago I dropped off some groceries for her in an unexpected visit. I felt tension on her part perhaps because she knows I might judge her for other things she still does wrong? But I refuse to throw the book at her. It's not that I put off saying the truth, or her obedience to it. It's simply that I know she must be encouraged to remain in His love and there, in His presence, His correction is loving and gentle. He will lead her toward a greater faith. Obedience often follows with it. I play a small part; a compliment to her discovery and conformity to the truth.

It doesn't really matter what her sins were or are because any sin poses a threat in some way or another, to the human eye. Am I afraid to have her in my home? No, but I'm always cautious (there is a difference). Why am I not afraid? Because I know that God is with me. Paradoxically, I am on lookout for God to minister to me through the newly repentant. Isn't that the way it should be? Matt. 18:3

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

She is the one who calls me on the phone every day, to read a daily devotional.

We both were ministered for an identical need. She read this [1]:

Then Asa... said, "LORD, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty." (2 Chronicles 14:11)

Remind God of his exclusive responsibility: "There is no one like you to help." It may be that your difficulties have come to such an alarming level that you may be compelled to refuse all human help. In lesser trials, you may have had that recourse, but now you must cast yourself on your almighty Friend. Put God between yourself and the enemy.

Asa, realizing his lack of strength, saw Jehovah as standing between the might of Zerah and himself. And he was not mistaken. We are told that the Cushites "were crushed before the LORD and his forces" (vs 13).

Readers, this is the kind of faith I desire to place in Christ when I deal with the unlovelies, even the dangerous ones.

....

On December 26th my family was by tradition, late to appear for the celebration. My brother-in-law, whom people have been praying for in the last seven years, saw me reading my bible when I finally sat down from dinner prep. He began by mocking the good book, but then confessed that he has found faith in God recently. Me? I have been released from ministering to him or even interacting to him by and large since he came on to me twice, last Spring. The last spiritual thing I said to him was, "What you need is to put your faith in Christ, brother." He replied, "I don't think so. Me and God, we have a special arrangement."

It so turns out that a long time friend of his has reconnected into his life. My brother-in-law's current marriage difficulties has caused him to want to pray, and this old friend of his is a youth pastor. During our conversation with my bible before me, my brother-in-law took out his cell phone and pulled up an old voice mail message of the youth pastor's prayer for him and his failing marriage. It was an amazing prayer, for things I hadn't even been asking God for anymore. Why did I stop??

Where was I? I had given up on him. I was blinded in my offense at what he had done against me, so, I wasn't praying for him and I wasn't burdened for him anymore. And that was the very moment when he confessed (and I certainly pressed for him to explain what he knew), "Yes, I know what Jesus did for me. He died on the cross for my sins, so that I could go to heaven."

Again, I am floored. Is not the most amazing God-thing happening inside the one who we think will never come around? Who seems impossible to reach for repentance? Who has just done too horrible of a thing? I think so.

I'm not the most fervent prayer. I have a feeling that my readers are probably quite devoted to prayer -- thank you so very much. I don't always share my faith, I'm not always gracious. Sometimes I give up on people when I shouldn't. I just want to praise God for what he is doing in the lives around me. My passion is stirred, my vision is refocusing. I love Him and I believe in Him to do that which feels impossible, things which has gone unanswered for even years at a go.

Jesus Christ's compassions fail not (lam 3:22)!



[1] Cowman, L. B. "Streams in the Desert," edited by Jim Reimann, 1997. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI. pp. 18-19.

The Hearer's Destruction?

I must make a note that according to the scripture that says, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man" 1 Tim. 2:12, I do not assume authority with the Word of God, nor do I wish to be known as a teacher, but, I do want to bring out things I have found in the Word, and draw attention to them for others to discuss with me.

I wish to look a little more closely at the greek word: "hearers"

1) to be endowed with the faculty of hearing, not deaf
2) to hear
b) to attend to, consider what is or has been said
c) to understand, perceive the sense of what is said
3) to hear something
a) to perceive by the ear what is announced in one's presence
b) to get by hearing learn
c) a thing comes to one's ears, to find out, learn
d) to give ear to a teaching or a teacher
e) to comprehend, to understand

What happens to the hearer if the "words" become "strivings"?

There is:
--"no profit"
--an "overthrow of a spirit of consecration"
--an "extinction" of sanctification

If one who "hears" is "destroyed," can there be any "hearing"? There will be no more "attending," no "considering," no "perception," no "finding out," no "learning," no "comprehension."

The guilt for "not hearing" lies with either the hearers, or the teachers. So often we point to the hearers as the ones who are disobedient, but, I believe that 2 Timothy makes a case that the failure for accepting the message can fall upon the disobedience of the teachers.

Let me share with you a personal experience.

Four years ago I had been babysitting on a regular basis, a 5-year old boy whose mother has been my friend since we were both 12 years old. She had never really ever responded to the gospel as I had shared it with her, and since I cared deeply about reading bible stories and sharing prayer with children who came into my home, I began fielding her overall opinion of me doing likewise with her own son while in my home. She gave me mixed signals. She appreciated the moral messages of veggietales. Though she expressly made it evident that at least her husband did not think it was a good idea for his son to be told that there is a God, until he was an adult and able to handle the scary stories of "wrath" and "hell" properly.

Meanwhile I had been building in my own prayer life, a zeal for the opportunity to share Christ with this little boy, who was even asking me questions about God on occasion. What did I do? Well, the next time this boy asked me about a creator, I told him what I tell all little children: "He made everything, and He lives up there, behind the clouds, behind the sun, behind the moon. You can't see Him, but He's there, always watching us, and always loving us. We can talk to Him whenever we want because of the cross." At least, that's how I introduce the gospel to children.

Later that evening my best friend, his mother, called me and told me that her son was distraught, and calling his mother a liar, for denying to admit that there really is a God.

...

My best friend was furious. She did not talk to me again, for... several months. I remember sharing my pain over this with a few prayer partners at church, and they applauded me in their consolations. They said, "We are amazed that He has called you to lose a friend just so that this little boy might know the truth!"

At first, I thought they were right, I thought I had done well. But then I realized this: It shouldn't have to take a wrong action to make a right result. There is no such thing. I betrayed someone's trust. Not just anyone, but my long-life friend! How could I taint the name of Christ by violating our friendship?

What had I overlooked? I can tell you now, and I told her months later.

I overlooked the fact that the authorities who have been established, have been established by God. God did not give this little boy to me, to care for, but to her and her husband. The LORD must know what He is doing by granting... atheists, to raise children according to their beliefs. The LORD gives children every day, to atheists, agnostics, Hindus, Muslims, and many, many others. I overlooked the fact that the LORD still answers prayer. He does not need to bring this child to faith, today. He doesn't have to use me. Perhaps God's plans for this boy's life include a salvation that is introduced later on, to much joy and by deep conversion with gratitude.

In the meantime, I just knew that her values, were violated. Sure, she may not have specifically stated "Don't do that," but I should have known her overall heart and, if I had been looking to know what she really felt, I think it would have been obvious.

I call her values, the values of others who seem to be less than conformed to scripture, as "culture." I ought to move within my friend's culture, in a non-violating fashion, to secure a good name for the gospel of Christ. I ought to live out my Christianity, knowing that God can save and that He hears my prayers.

Hebrews 11: 1; Hebrews 11:6:

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

And without faith it is impossible to please God....

I once said that I used to have a lot in common with fundamentalists. Fundamentalism says, "scripture gives every right in every occasion, to tell others of their waywardness." Do you believe this? I no longer do.

Several months later, my friend and I recovered over my violation enough that she actually let me watch him again. I have spent many years since, however, listening to the perception of my beliefs as I myself have corrupted them. They find God to be disgusting, and they place my glorious gospel of a free gift by faith alone, in the same bunch with Catholicism and every other works- and service- based pseudo-christian proclamation. It appears to them as nothing greater than oppression: of the mind, of the heart. Because the selfishness, the self-righteousness, the hypocrisy of my own actions have been made clear. I told her not in words, but in actions: my thoughts are more important than yours, my feelings and priorities are more important than yours.

Luke 22:24-27

Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. Jesus said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves."

Matt 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I am not eager to make a public tale of this but, for His glory I would, for He alone is just and true.

Her "Tribute"

Crystal Lewis: I'm a fan. This song she wrote herself as her own tribute to the LORD. She is a gifted communicator!



She doesn't sing perfectly or comprehensively, her fashion too, when you see her here or there, is eclectic. She's a nerd at heart, trying to make her way in the world with a little fun la femme attitude; I admire her. She knows, to what and whom her all was made to glorify, and I can feel my soul sanctified as I watch and listen.

Advocacy

Who among us the most effective advocate?

Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. For indeed He does not give aid to angels, but He does give aid to the seed of Abraham. Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.

Heb 2:14-18

As I am being prepared to minister to another, I am not following this model of our LORD? Does God use us to lead others by first leading us out? Though always without sin, He became acquainted with their suffering (condition, limitation, bondage) as a firsthand and personal experience.

Jesus was "made to be like them."

“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Self-Control and Balance

I have very little self-control when it comes to the Word of God. I know that this isn't a bad thing in a sense, but I mention it because the very "evangelical problem" I have been writing about in the last couple of years, mightily dwells in me; I am the most audacious criminal.

Case in point: The Wednesday morning women's bible study that just began at my church. Guess what? It's full-blown, no shame Lordship Sanctification. I listen to the complimentary lecture given during our weekly meets, and during those talks it's "sovereign" this and "sovereign" that; sovereign, sovereign sovereign. I went up and asked her, "When you say that word... SOVEREIGN, what do you mean? What does that word MEAN?"

Some leading questions (or statements!) sprinkled in between the passages to read:

So, is there anything not under God's control? Ever?

(Blah!!)

God is sovereign over the natural, physical world.

God is sovereign over the social world.

God is sovereign over the political world.

God is sovereign over the spiritual world.

God is sovereign in salvation.

God is sovereign in my inner spiritual life.

I just came out of three years of believing that God was so "sovereign" that He had appointed me, to sin. Listening to this bible study brings this pall and a headache all come back to me.

This is pure deception. First of all, here is what this in-house bible study (created by one of our members) says of her theological approach to doing the bible study:

I centered [my bible study] primarily in the New Testament. Each lesson contains many verses, most looked at apart from their context to get a specific aspect of God's character. Please feel free to read before and after verses listed in the lessons to get a better picture of the context. However, the point of the questions or comments is specific to the verses given.

Given... out of context??

The very first question in the entire bible study, was this:

1. God is sovereign over the universe (and beyond!). How do these verses speak of God as sovereign?

- Rom 11:36

I listened to the ladies at my table, blow right past this question without even noticing the context. So I spoke up to them on that first day and said "Before we move on, can I say something? What does that word "sovereign" mean? What about free will? God was not "sovereign" over every detail for the Israelites. This passage pulled from Romans 11 is about the nation Israel; it says in verse 20 "Do not be haughty, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either."

To that there was a moment of silence. They said, "Well, yeah, I guess sovereign means...." And in that even they tried to explain it as if I couldn't comprehend that God was in control in the overall sense. Of course, I understand that; they missed my point, or rather they didn't really know how to answer it probably, so they left that part alone.

All three weeks of this study, a slowly building storm is rising in me. I'm beginning to burn with anger. ... It's always like this in the beginning, before I get some measure of apologetics written out. I don't want to blow them away with righteous indignation. Though at this point they are aware that I am having difficulty "understanding" the material, and one has even agreed to have a sit-down meeting with me about it to "answer my questions."

I have a plan. I'm going to write my apologetics. Make a copy for everyone at my table. Appeal to their love for the scriptures and desire to be helpful and a blessing to me. Most of them are elderly so I need to have a real honest respect for them (I'm not all the way there yet). Then they're all going to get a copy. I'll ask them to just read it and take it to heart, and, if they like it, pass it on to the leadership or to other ladies at other tables. One table, out of the whole 9 tables of women in the study? Yes, that's good enough for me. I have faith it's sufficient to get the ball rolling.

I already have in my mind, some starting points for these apologetics:

- The "Sovereignty" Teaching Demeans the Lordship & Deity of Jesus Christ

- The "Sovereignty" Teaching Demeans the Purpose for Why Jesus Came as a Man

- The "Sovereignty" Teaching Demeans Christ's Heart of Love for Men and the Heavenly Father

- The "Sovereignty" Teaching Demeans Man's Ability to Glorify God in the Way we Live our Lives

I need to take some space and some heart and some faith. I don't want to blow them out of the water. I feel like they deserve it. I'm sure they mean well....