Notes from today's bible study

Does truth breed trust?

"In this world you will have trouble." We have expectations, but it's like a hand-shake with the air; God and I didn't really have an understanding that I wouldn't have these difficulties. Though I knew there was suffering, that's not the core of rebellion....

"But take heart, for I have overcome the world." Is He trustable?

Jesus is truth. Christ will never mislead. I wrote this down. Do I believe?

Only the truth sets us free. Denial though, is easier than extending trust.

A baptist teacher said "God is under-represented in the body of Christ. No teacher has it all together. We need not just truth but the whole truth, so that His children won't feel betrayed." Do I treat the collection of scriptures like I do K-Mart? I go through and select the ones I want. The next guy goes and selects something else. And then ensues misrepresentation and debate and, a lack of trust. We need the whole counsel. "Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." Many times God says things that sound gracious and many times truthful. Somehow Jesus combined the two features when he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well. She ran to the people smiling, because her dignity had not been injured, though "He has told me everything I have ever done!"

I remember that quality of God when I first became a believer. I still want it. If I were close to Him again He could remove the toxins and poisons out of my love for the world around me.

Some say "God has nothing to do with anything we could ever interpret as negative or painful." Others say "God is always angry, never pleased, and usually out to get us." But He taught neither of these extremes.

"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" -- Is this the trouble we receive in this life? What if someone has been abused or poorly handled... and habits of sin develop for the one on the receiving end? Whose fault is it? My sin is mine to answer for. And, if God said to me, "Child, you are sinning in these ways and I want you to face this," it would hurt. I don't want to admit it because it's part of who I am, and part of that is not my fault. But I guess He'll deal with the other guys. It's scary to wonder how He must be dealing with me when I have led others to sin.

If I was spiritually injured, am I going to let it finish me?

David wrote: "Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth." ps 31:5

It's so odd... that last night was when I noticed that I don't trust, and then, this morning it was the topic. It's so amazing that it happened like that, I thought I should document both events.

"Want" is a nice word

Since the end of September I've been in a bible study called "The Beloved Disciple: the life and ministry of John," by Beth Moore. It began on this passage:

The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, "Look, the Lamb of God!"
When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, "What do you want?"
They said, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?"
"Come," he replied, "and you will see." So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. John 1:35-39

One of many of the study questions in week one asked "Where do you see your life right now?" "In a routein and a rut... Living the great adventure (circle one)...." I thought about which one I'd circle. I even spent a lot of time in serious doubt that I would reach the other "option" ever again, even if I tried. I almost decided that I didn't belong. I'm not quite sure what got me to reconsider. Maybe it was the introductory premise:

"I love new beginnings, don't you? I am honored to embark on this new beginning with you. Let's count on God to take us places with Him we've never been and to accomplish a work we didn't know He could. As James and John cast nets on the sun-kissed waters of the Sea of Galilee, they had no idea that the Son of God was casting His net for them. Soon they would find themselves captured by his call and compelled by His love. Let's allow the same divine affection to catch us as we too are called to be disciples of Jesus Christ.

Allow me to give you the bottom line before we turn the first page in hopes that you might adopt John's attitude from the very beginning: John was free to love because he was so utterly convinced that he was loved. He called himself the beloved disciple. How differently would each follower live if we characterized ourselves above all else as the beloved disciple of Jesus Christ? This is the goal of our journey."

I thought, is there any hope for me? I wasn't sure if I should just skip the class altogether and do childcare instead of the study. Then I heard the lesson from Moore....

"Put your pens down!" she said (on video). In our notebooks there was a page full of empty blanks, but we weren't allowed to fill in the answers as we got them. Lest we fail to take to heart what the premise of the study should be....

"Let's sense Christ asking us the same question: '________, my child, what do you want?'"

Beth said that this is our assignment: go home and answer that question, or write God a letter if need be. I chuckled at the thought, then I sat silent for a bit. "[pause] I don't even need to say it. [pause] God, you know what I want." And then I realized that it might be an important point to communicate it anyway. So I did. And that was week one.

Week two we actually got into a multi-page bible study, the typical look up X-verse and answer the X-questions. Even though they were good questions, my heart has hovered ever at week one. Prayer requests at our table time came, and my request was "that the LORD would comfort me and encourage me in my circumstances."

Week three, again, the questions were just okay. That alluring premise of God caring for what I want formed the prayer request that I shared. I said I had praise, because God had used people in my life uncommonly to comfort and come alongside me in my circumstances, but that "I still would like the LORD Himself to comfort me, to reveal his heart and plans for me."

Week four, which brings us current: I asked for prayer saying "God showed me His plan for me, and I am very encouraged, I still would like prayer however that He would help me to understand His heart and that He does understand mine."

Did you ever feel like you were at a turning point? I have a feeling this study may be making all the difference.