Go + Stay

Two posts ago I wrote an article proposing the gospel impacting the Patient Grower's Network.  That week I prayed for God to open a door, but the Holy Spirit did not open a way.  That is the way things go sometimes, and I trust God for an open door elsewhere.

If you have been reading here in the last year you may remember a post on the Juggalos in downtown Salem, and J.K.'s story.  J.K. and I are still friends and because of her I am getting to know her friends.  I love them.  I don't know how to spend more time downtown which is what it would take.  I could list the ways I'm failing.  The biggest one would be that I am not living in the rhythms of the lives of those God wants to reach.  I swoop in, spread a little love and gospel, and swoop back to Keizer.  What I am doing, stinks.

Missional does not equal just "go" ing.
Missional = GO + STAY

I love this video...



Have you ever heard of the "Person of Peace"?  God opens a door for the gospel with a Person of Peace.  It is based on Jesus' sending out of the apostles.  Jesus commanded them to preach the Kingdom only where they were welcome.  Jesus taught Go + Stay.  Mike Breen teaches in his book Building a Discipling Culture that a Person of Peace:

1.  Welcomes/receives you, listens to you
2.  Serves you

When I read that last year, it freed me up to see who it is that I need to be pouring the gospel into.

The people downtown are SO OPEN to me.  They are so friendly, so lovable.  They have shared their lives openly with me.  They are people of peace toward me.

I have good news.  After a couple weeks, the guys were talking about how everyone downtown has a nickname.  I said, "I don't have a nickname."  One of the young men named Jack looked at me and said, "I know what your name is."

"What?" I asked.

"Your name is Faith.  That's what you represent," he said.

I looked at him for some time, to read his face and his body language.  Was I the kind of faith that was overbearing?  Annoying?  Preachy?  Out of touch with reality?  I didn't see any of that in his body language.  He looked genuinely positive.  My heart swells thinking about it!

There's another older man downtown who was widowed recently.  He goes to the same spot every day for two hours in the afternoon.  He greets every person who walks by, wants to know them all.  He is a believer who wants to share the love of Jesus.  His own son was once addicted to drugs for years but today he is sober and taking care of his family because of the power of God.  He is a natural shepherd with favor of the people.  It is so encouraging to talk to him.  He is also very open to me, totally encouraged by me talking in various forms about God's apostolic impulse.

All the young men respond so positively to this older man.  He was getting out of his car across the street and they all exclaimed his name loudly as he made his way, they were so excited he had come.  He got a nickname too that day.   Jack said, "there is no one as unique as you," to him.  The older man wanted to know why he was unique.  Jack said, "because you are the only older person I know who cares to get to know people, who will actually spend time with them instead of just drive right past them."  Isn't God good?

Jack is an agnostic who thinks the bible was written by men, full of inconsistencies.  Would you pray for this young man?

Here's the rub.  I feel so inadequate.  Let me give you a list of reasons why.  I've got more than one!!  :)

1.   I am a woman.  Yes, so I'm smart-n-stuff but you never know.

2.   My faith is not as strong as I wish it was.

3.   I'm not the best discipler.  I'm more of an apostolic/prophetic than a teacher.  There are others who are gifted at teaching and I sure would like some of those to come alongside.

4.  People downtown are sometimes mentally ill, former criminals, or addicted to drugs.  How can I stay ahead of all Satan's strategies?

I guess this is something for this older man and I to figure out together.  He is struggling with trying to answer the same questions: how do we know when to trust?  I've reached out to the Union Gospel Mission to get a feel for the way things really are and the resources they have available, the real struggles they are already engaged with.

Yesterday evening I went to Sonrise Church, also known as "Stitches."  It is an interfaith discipling ministry across the street from the Salem Conference Center.  I met Bob, one of the associate pastors.  He knows some of the people at Salem First Baptist.  He showed me everything they are doing to reach the young street folk.  One girl got bored waiting for our conversation to end and she came up to Bob and just snuggled in for a hug.  This moved me.  I love this place.

They started off doing an open grill down at the bus depot several years ago.  This developed into a group doing devotions at various places on the street.  In an alley.  On the capitol steps.  Eventually they got themselves a building.

I said to Bob, "You guys are doing everything that I want to do, though I don't want to develop things toward a permanent building with permanent services.  But you've got so much resources.  You have a men's mentoring program.  You have solutions for drug addiction.  I don't have any of that."

He looked me in the eye and said, "You don't need that.  I can tell you having worked here for several years, even when it comes to something like drug addiction: it is the love that sets them free.  That's it.  And it is the only thing that will keep them free.  You've got everything you need, as long as you are filled with love from God."

Ahh!  That was a word from the LORD to me.  So I pass it on to you.  You also are adequate in Christ's love!  God IS love.  All of His Holy Spirit ministry is captured within that powerful love.

I have two women who are praying with me, we are praying for one another's opportunities to advance the gospel.  We've been doing this for a month with one woman, several months with another.  One of the ladies wants to come with me downtown!  So I am planning on picking her up with me as I go.  God is so good to answer my prayers for partnership!

I am also being mentored by the longtime ministry partner of George Patterson.  Ralph Winter, the international missions leader who coined the term "Unreached People Groups" and in so doing catalyzed a new wave of world missions, calls George Patterson one of the top three experts in the world on church growth.  I am so glad for God's favor.  I can't even tell you how special this is to me.

I don't want to do church services - I want to do what is called a people movement toward Christ.  Work within the circle of natural community that exists.  See a few come to Christ and naturally they will reach the rest of their circle.

I don't want church FOR the people.  I want church BY the people, on the street, in the places they carry out life.  Mike Breen says,

I've said it many times: If you make disciples, you will always get the church. But if you try to build the church, you will rarely get disciples.

--  "Why The Missional Movement Will Fail" by Mike Breen

Praises:

For the young men and women who are open to me
For prayer partners who faithfully pray for the people downtown
For seasoned mentorship

Needs:

Prayer
Safety and Wisdom
Teacher(s)
Increased Faith

"Bring the Better Wine"

The Miracle of Water Turned to Wine

Yesterday I was shopping at Walmart for shirts. At the checkout I was cracking jokes with the clerk. She asked me if I wanted to keep the hangers. She said people use them for all sorts of things. I said, "and I suppose I could keep the price tags as... bookmarks."

There was a little old woman in her eighties who had finished putting her things in her basket ahead of me who came back to the clerk. She interrupted us and said, "I did all of that and forgot to pay you so I could take ice out of the ice chest on the way out the door. Can I still do that?"

The clerk said, "Yes," but did not explain how. So the little old lady stood there for a while waiting to figure out how to do that. She finally realized and asked, "Do I have to stand in line again then?" The clerk replied in the affirmative. She kindly began to wheel her basket around to about five patrons deep a line.

I said, "I'll buy the ice," but she didn't hear me as she headed around to the line. So the clerk told the lady, "she is going to buy you ice ma'am."

The little old lady said from the back of the line, "Oh; well, I was going to buy five bags of ice."

By now the 5 patrons-deep line of people knew what was going on and was listening.

The clerk had told me they were only $1.85 a bag so I said, "It's no problem I can do that."

So the clerk ran up the bill and I paid for it. The clerk said, "Ma'am you don't have to wait in line, you can go get your ice. It's paid for."

She wheeled back around and came up and said to the clerk and to me, "Thank you."

I replied saying, "Bless you."

She turned to leave and then turned back one more time to add, "The ice is for my grandson's wedding. He is getting married tomorrow."

"Wow," I said out loud. "Bless him too."

I heard several people in line exclaim their own version of wow.  The other people in line probably longed to rejoice with the little old lady.  I admitted to the clerk as she rolled away, "That -- was the Holy Spirit right there. I had no plans to be that awesome."

The clerk said, "It'll come back around to you."

I replied to her idea of Karma saying, "God is great."

****

I remember Jeff Vanderstelt teaching Christians "bring the better wine" to celebrations.  The miracle of turning water to wine was the first miracle Jesus did in John chapter 2.



Nice people help little old ladies. Perhaps they even do it with a belief in Karma; the hopes of some cosmic payout from an unknown god.  But only YHWH arranges care for a little old lady in such a memorable moment of her life.

The only true and living God, YHWH, used frozen ice to bless a wedding happening somewhere in Salem, today.

Luke 10:20 says,

Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.

God lives even in me!  Celebration time!

"Adullam"

In the last couple years this passage has become dear.  It is my testimony. 1 Sam. 22:1-2,

David therefore departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. So when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him.  And everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him.  So he became captain over them. And there were about four hundred men with him.

David was a fugitive.  He never could remain in Jerusalem long so he became a nomad.  For a long time he was alone except for one friend.  And then all of a sudden one day, people saw it for something more and they became a family.

1658, Claude, Landscape with David at the Cave of Adullum

If Sundays and Wednesdays at church are Jerusalem, the remainder of the week is the cave of Adullam.

Life Beyond Jerusalem

I haven't been satisfied by inviting friends to church.  It isn't enough.  When a person responds, "yes I'll come," sometimes they have come and never heard the gospel.  Sometimes they may have heard it but they seemed not sure why they should think the gospel was significant to them.  I refused to just "let them go."  If they didn't want to come to church, I told them the gospel.  Sometimes while standing on the sidewalk outside our home, or wherever else was convenient.  I wanted them to understand this invitation He gives to see Him as real in our life.

Sometimes they would say, "Yes I believe that," but they didn't seem to respond at the level of their soul.  I could have just let them go, again, but my concern that they understand what Jesus has done, and it moved me to try to invite-in the wonder of God.

Finally, some started seeing Jesus for themselves.  Which was wonderful!  And yet I should not be surprised!  "So then, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God."  But they would come to church and feel weirded out by one aspect or another.  They think that they can't be Christians unless they do everything we do.  Which is just not true.

So I have ended up showing people how to live for the Kingdom, or at least doing my best to testify about that, inviting them the way Jesus invites me daily.  To not worry about whether they understand worship music, and not worry about bible studies which are overwhelming like homework, or not worry about why their clothes are different than most everyone else.

If anyone's leading, they lead me.  I want to know as much as they do how to see a viable Jesus outside of Sundays and Wednesdays.  These unchurched Christians are largely available and interested to play around with what following Jesus looks like outside of those structured times.

I like them better than I like myself.  They know how to take care of people like a real family.  They know what freedom ought to smell and look like.  Most of all they are SERIOUS about lavishing grace on broken people even if they have to do it in an earthly manner till they meet the means of grace in the person of Jesus.

They aren't bogged down by years of thinking about church like I do and so they bring an awareness of life with the King that I would never have noticed otherwise.  In fact there has been such success in seeing the King outside of Sundays and Wednesdays that now several longtime churched Christians, and even the de-churched, are purposely joining the rest-of-the-week band.  The harvest is plentiful.  Where?   Perhaps for Americans, the question isn't where but WHEN.  The harvest is plentiful during the rest-of-the-week, when people are eager to see the King, come, in their very existence.

This is my testimony: It is possible to follow Jesus and not fit into the typical experiences of going to church as we know it.

Indeed: THERE ARE MANY MORE WHO CAN FOLLOW JESUS THAN THOSE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND OUR WAYS OF DOING CHURCH, than we could have dreamed.  They just need someone to help them seek the Kingdom with vitality, in their own way of living life!  All their sin issues can be and are being conquered by the same Holy Spirit.

The "unchurched" have a King, too.  This King is the same as everyone else's.  He leads them with the same vitality as He leads those who attend Sundays and Wednesdays.  My passion is still, that the unchurched would come to church.  Some may be able to bridge that gap to perceive their place in a regular church service, eventually, while some never will and that's ok.

Why do I suggest that there is some invisible wall forcing me to juggle life between the unchurched and the churched?  Only because of one reason: I invite people to come to church, and they don't see Jesus right away, for some strange reason.

This is a challenge to develop myself as missionary.  The problem isn't who I've invited, the problem isn't my church.  It's that they need someone who will be a gap-stander.

Perhaps that what the discontented saw in David: a true ruler over the City, yet one who had legitimacy in life as an outsider.

I myself love church on Sundays and Wednesdays, but I cannot get myself to forget those who do not.  As David one day finally rested, I pray too that I and the people who I share life with can come and experience the joy of being gathered together with other saints.  There is one body, one baptism, and Jesus has took the dividing wall and abolished it through His body.

I long for those reading here to meet some of these.


Note: 'Adullam' is the name of the church started by Matt Smay and Hugh Halter.  I became familiar with the story of their church.  Recently I attended their pre-conference track in Texas.  Then recently I revisited this passage and that name, 'Adullam,' popped right out in my attention.  "Yeah!" I thought with a twinge of jealousy - they are experiencing a similar movement for God, as they found their namesake in this passage.

God Has Visited His People

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the pre-conference with Missio people about two weeks ago.  There was a lot that I learned about "modality" and "sodality" which explained a lot of the pains and frustrations I've been experiencing.  I plan to bring those out here.

The most important highlight for me was Jeff Vanderstelt's talk during the main conference the first day.  Jeff is one of the founders of Soma, a missional community movement in Tacoma, Washington, under which my brother-in-law has also joined in partnership.  Jeff was sharing a little more about his friend, Clay.  Last year on facebook I posted a video of Jeff introducing Clay.  If you clicked on the video back then or have run across it yourself you may be familiar.  Clay used to go to concerts and use drugs as the highlight of his life.  Jeff and his wife were invited to hang out with Clay at concerts.  Obviously Jeff and his wife were uncomfortable, however they respectfully served Clay during those concerts.

At some point after that video, I assume that Clay became a believer.  At the conference, Jeff was updating his story.  In my memory of the conference Jeff said,

I have been wondering about Clay.  He doesn't seem to show much signs of growing so I just prayed and prayed for him.  One day I'm going over to Clay's house, and I see all these firetrucks and an ambulance with their sirens blaring.  The thought comes across my mind, "I wonder if that has anything to do with Clay?"  So I follow the sirens and they turn down Clay's street.  Then they stop in front of Clay's house.  Clay's wife is standing on the front lawn, crying.  So I go up to her and pause, and say, "Is... Clay... ??"  She says that Clay was over in their neighbor's garage.

Clay had answered a call for help from a neighbor.  The man who lived there had hung himself in the garage. Clay is in the garage and it's completely dark, and he's looking around for anything that will cut the rope.  Somehow there's a sliver of light shining on a pair of scissors, so, he's cutting the rope while trying to lift the man up to relieve the pressure around his neck.  He gets him down.  He starts doing CPR.  Nothing.  Clay starts to pray.  Clay prays, "You know, God, if it's this guy's time to go, go ahead and take him.  But if he's not would you save his life?"

The garage door starts to rattle as a wind blew through the cracks, and as the wind blew past Clay and this man, the man takes a breath....

He's in the hospital, and wouldn't you know that one of the members of our Soma community is his nurse, so as he regains consciousness in the hospital he gets to hear the story of what happened.  This nurse is only 21 years old, and she leaves Tacoma and goes on vacation to visit her family in southern California.  While she's there, a group of pastors ask her if she would come down and share the story of what God is up to with Soma and the story of Clay's neighbor.  So, here's a 21 year old girl teaching pastors about the power of God and what missional community is all about, the mission to reach others for Christ.

I talk to Clay and you know what he told me?  He said, "Yeah, I was reading the gospel of Mark lately (!!), got through several chapters and read how Jesus does miracles."

God  answered his prayer... AND CLAY'S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT A CHRISTIAN, you know... what I mean?

So here Jeff had been praying for this new believer who doesn't really understand much about God and how He works in our lives, not even knowing he had been reading the gospel of Mark!

This testimony stirred me.  It was as if I was waiting for something, but when I heard that God was even raising the dead... I felt an urgency, that I was living in the days when God moves.  Then I read Luke 7:11-16 for no good reason and was shocked by the scriptures:

Now it happened, the day after, that He went into a city called Nain; and many of His disciples went with Him, and a large crowd.  And when He came near the gate of the city, behold, a dead man was being carried out, the only son of his mother; and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the city was with her.  When the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”  Then He came and touched the open coffin, and those who carried him stood still. And He said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.”  So he who was dead sat up and began to speak. And He presented him to his mother.

Then fear came upon all, and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has risen up among us”; and, “God has visited His people.”  And this report about Him went throughout all Judea and all the surrounding region.

That was exactly the words I felt: God has visited His people.  Their minds were settled that His favor had come into their lives.  So I have been praying ever since, for God to visit me, visit US.  I want to see His Kingdom not for my satisfaction, but for the sake of the lost.  He taught us to pray that His Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.  I realize He's not going to transform all till His return, but I believe nevertheless.  What if we prayed together for His Kingdom to come to us?  Would He set a limit and not be supernatural if we asked?  I believe it honors Him when I trust Him for His Kingdom, here and now!  I think the more we seek Him, the more we will find, even if we do not receive all His Kingdom in this dispensation.  Will you pray with me?  Luke 11:9-13,

So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

My Kind of Broken: The Prophetic

According to JR Woodward the Prophetic Ministry moves like this:

PROPHET - Revealer. Focal Concern: Walking with God. Destination: Spirit transforming communities, standing with the poor and oppressed.

Let's take those elements and a few typically associated ones, one at a time.  First I'll explore the supernatural strengths, then the weaknesses of the gifting.

About Knowing What's Going To Happen

One of my pastor friends told me that interacting with me is like talking to an oracle.  Sometimes that means telling others what is going to happen flat out.  Other times it means knowing what to say in a roundabout manner to help someone move into the space that God is calling them to go.  Both are good, but developing someone else's capacity to hear God is a challenging avenue of the gift.  Think Neo's conversation in the movie Matrix.



There are prophetesses in scripture, in the New Testament (a future post?) and the Old.  Deborah knew God's will, for example.  She knew when it was time to attack Sisera.  She even knew because of Barak's answer that the glory he might have had would pass to a woman.  She knew what would happen before it happened.  How did she do that??  Our head pastor at SFB has said that he knows some people can do this; see things coming.  He also can't explain it, but he's seen it in others before.

I can help people develop their hearing of the Spirit, I've done it a lot and it's what I'm currently challenging myself to provide so disciples might grow.  However, I don't think I get to that level yet with most people.  It comes out in a place of consistent trust with the person I'm interacting with.  Otherwise I just kind of get insecure about using the gift and I falter.

Also someone can't just come up to me and ask what's going to happen in any give situation.  It has to be something I am emotionally engaged in... where I have already sensed that something is at stake.  In that situation if someone asks me what is going to happen, I can get prophetic.  My test results indicated that a score of 30 or higher would mean maturity, so at "27" I'm not there yet.  I'm wrong still a lot.  It is most easiest for me when I spend time in deep meditative prayer - God rushes my mind with information from the things I've seen and heard and He interprets them for me.  Occasionally He tells me what people have said behind closed doors, when they think they have the most privacy.

About Spiritual Transformation

Some examples... I have had dreams on rare occasion.  Dreams warned me and given me stark juxtaposition of a matter so that I can paint a picture of what is going on.  I am good at discernment of people in the places God has called me to be, independent of how long I've known them.  Outside of that, for some reason, I'm off.  The gift of discerning spirits is the ability to tell what spiritually composes a person.  Do they know the Spirit, really, or are they just caught up in the more busy levels of being a Christian?  Most struggles people have that keep them from the Spirit stem from the challenges of life and wounds and fears associated with those.  In some cases, they are spiritual strongholds or even spiritual compromises in favor of a spirit that opposes and mocks God.

On a community level also I can tell what spiritually composes a group.  To me this is the most interesting because it's complex like chess, except I'm a piece on the board too.  I hear the spiritual composition of many people at once and consider how they go into play to affect one another.  Everybody has mission particular to them as an individual.  However there is measurement of mission taken at the community macro level.  The question is, what is God saying to the community?  Groups never really present themselves as either better or worse than others - that's not what the gift points out to me.  What it gives me is a map of how people are listening for God and how anyone might enlarge what God is asking them to do.  That data is useful for someone such as an elder to listen to.  I can see when things are headed in a direction of concern, way before they play out for all to see.  Sometimes I know the players and what they're going to do.  Sometimes it's a surprise to me who enacts what I sensed.  Being merely present informs me, especially body language.

Just walking onto grounds, before I see a single person, informs me.  I can feel it just approaching the property of the community.  I can feel the attitude come into my soul, and information start coming into my brain from God, He totally equips me by walking onto a space.  Then scripture starts trickling in, to show me where God is calling.

About Standing With The Poor And Afflicted

Ahh, finally.  I know what's wrong with me.  Jeesh.  I can't tell you what it meant to me to hear that part of what it is to practice the prophetic way is to stand with the poor and afflicted.  This comes straight from the heart of God.  When Jesus began His ministry He stood up in His hometown and quoted Isaiah 61:1-3,

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

What a mission statement!  It was man's need that made God in Christ arise from His place of splendor in heaven and descend to the earth.  He is compelled.  So might I.  I don't have to feel weird.  It's okay for me to be me.  However, I take a look at myself - I spend so much time being completely at home around the unchurched, and hardly get around to manifesting that unconditional love of God toward the church.  More on this below.

How Do We Hear What God is Saying?

It is becoming easier to read as I grow up in the LORD.  Mission comes within worship.  Mission (God's will; what God wants us to do, for a person or people group to reach others for the sake of Christ) always comes out of our relationship, nay higher; the very Being of God.  Whatever mission we think we find out of our relationship with God ought to match up with the commands of scripture, and it should be formed and guided by scripture.

So as we worship God and attain His exaltation, that moment of worship is never lacking a referral to people outside the church.  And to have that referral in common with other Christians is what we call "community" - entering into intimate life with others around that mission to achieve it.  Listen to Francis Chan hearing the will of God for his life.  He focused singularly on God for some time, to worship, and walked away with mission.



I hope to get into this issue of "listening" more and more in posts to come.  Especially from a scriptural point of view instead of my words.  I go back in scripture and read and it is just tripping over itself being prophetic within the narratives.  Why is it that we think we are meant to glorify our God with the circumstances of our lives, but conversely we don't really believe that God is also using the unspiritual or earthly circumstances of our lives to show us like a hammer to the head where we're out of alignment with our identity in Him?  Chan didn't need to create God's will from some new wind of doctrine, but he heard right out of the context of the earthly choices he had made that day.

Hopefully the reader is starting to sense how God can mentor us through His Word to speak like an oracle, being certain of what God is saying....  It's a lot of fun to get in touch with the Holy Spirit, to get a big picture of God in our lives.  Bear with me and I'll show you passages where Jesus and His immediate community are ad nauseam unpacking Kingdom from their immediate situations.

I often come out of these worship times with God and unload a message, which just happens to be exactly what the pastor is preaching on, or the speaker is speaking about in the Body where I'm engaged.  Usually I speak it 1-6 days before the message is spoken by others.  On rare occasion my identical message comes a day or several afterward.  Most commonly I have beaten pastors to their messages time after time after time, it's crazy.  It's totally not me, as with all of this stuff - the Spirit is one voice, and He is speaking to all of us what He wants to say.  That, is exciting.

How To Love A Prophetic Servant

All of above are the strengths of this gifting, and I hope you marvel at the Spirit because I do.  Have you ever thought of a strength as a weakness?  I have.  It's very hard to not have people really understand what it is you're doing, can't help but doing.  I can't help being near people who are lonely or left out.  I just can't.  I find myself driven this way no matter how safe and perfect a setting with mature and incorporated Christians might be - I think I spot someone who isn't feeling quite a part of things and I'm drawn like a moth to the light.  It's compulsion inside of me, not pride or opportunity.  My blood boils as I survey the scene, I find that sort of person, and ahh, I feel right at home.  I can't stop and I can't yet develop how God might move me according to some other priority in the Body.  I have to develop ears to hear how He speaks on His various concerns.

Even trying to break away from this directive for months has not done a lot of help.  There is a lot of pain... in feeling alone myself, even though there are others around me.  I guess I feel alone because I am conscious that I'm going to a particular kind of person to the exclusion of others.  I feel that there is a relational space between me and a good percentage of the Body but so unfortunately not intended.  It doesn't really exist, truly.  But because I'm driven to a particular demographic, I feel it emotionally nonetheless.  It's painful to know that God has laid something important on my heart, and I'm not sure if anyone in the Body understands or cares... or approves, even?  I'm afraid of that.  It's painful to be drawn to one kind of spot in the Body and never develop relationships with those who seem to truly feel safe and loved.  I feel the responsibility to try.

One thing the Christian reader here can do to love someone who operates like this, is to invite them.  They are hurting and they don't know how to talk about it.  Pull them out of their rut.  Whether that's a spot on the pew or the grass or into a home for dinner.  Secretly they are hungry to belong, to develop relationships with the mature.  It's just not in their nature to go there first.  Invite them also to speak from time to time on what God is saying, or to use their gifting for your benefit.  They are most at peace when they see that even the mature and secure are also broken and hurting.  That just blesses them and blows their mind.  It expands their horizons and helps them grow up in the gifting.

A Possible Picture of the Ecclesiology

The three men in the video below I would guess are all gifted differently concerning the 5-fold.  There can be a good deal of misunderstanding and confusion and questioning that needs to happen just to create awareness that none of these gifts individually have the whole picture of how to best serve the church.  It's uncomfortable to air all your thoughts with people who are driven differently.  But thank God these men went there.  In spite of the rockiness of what you see below, this is a mostly healthy picture of ecclesiology - especially if they should grow to trust one another once they get up from the table, not feel threatened by each other.  Do you see how each one of them could, potentially, walk away with feelings of being attacked, offended or ignored?  It's there.  Joshua Harris is the author of books such as "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."  Mark Driscoll started the missional organization known as Acts 29 churches.  I believe Francis Chan is a depiction of how it is possible to be simultaneously in complete obedience to God individually and yet have a narrow perspective.



The sweet spot for a prophetic servant is to have a trust relationship with elders, or with the Body generally, who commit to hearing a good deal of what the servant wants to bring out, and then, for the prophetic servant to step back and say "the rest is up to you - and I trust you to interpret and apply it out as you see best."  Then the prophetic servant can kick back and enjoy the love and bond with the Body knowing they've done their part, and they can experience incorporation and ministry at once.

5-Fold: Introduction

It is refreshing to have recently gone through the Forgotten God by Francis Chan DVD Study Resource in a group of ladies this summer.  In the first few chapters Chan asks us to think about what role the Holy Spirit has in our lives and how we see and experience His work.  What is He capable of?  Chan says that there are pretty much two options in the average Evangelical array of churches: pentecostal sorts of exuberancy, and then something close to almost cessationism where the Spirit doesn't have much expression at all besides an intellectual thought-experiment (as my friend Tim describes it) in reading the Bible alone.

Missio writers have called this way of being Christian "cognitive discipleship."  Chan asks, where is the power of God in the circumstances of our lives that the apostles experienced in the Book of Acts?  Where is Jesus building His church in a way that people know this is not what men are doing but only what God does?

It's nice to begin to talk about the supernatural without being forced to the extreme of the pentecostal example.

Through other missional resources I took a Spiritual gifts test and this is what I got:

Apostle 18, Evangelist 18, Pastor 20, Prophet 27, Teacher 11

Within the missional movement there is growing discussion over something called the "5-Fold Ministry," or it is sometimes called "APEST."  There are 5 Spiritual giftings mentioned in Ephesians 4:11.  They are: Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors (also called Shepherds) and Teachers (APEST).  This video helped me a little bit, though most of it went over my head.

I think the missional movement is so much in its infancy, I get new information of what is going on all the time.  Everybody is working out these things as we speak, and it's exciting.  There are three major missional organizations in the U.S.; Missio, 3DM, and Acts 29 (which includes Soma).  Missio is incorporating 5-fold training, 3DM leaders of course do that, and I just heard that Soma is now going that direction, too.

I was told there is hardly any academic study that has been done in a long time on the 5-fold ministries from Ephesians chapter 4.  Here is the context of the verse; Ephesians 4:7-16,

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.  This is why it says: “When he ascended on high, he took many captives and gave gifts to his people.” (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions?  He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.)  So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.  From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Most people accept the last two gifts as active in the church today - Pastors and Teachers.  However there hasn't been total acceptance for the gift of evangelist, especially prophets and apostles.

Alan Hirsch has published the first academic piece just last February titled, The Permanent Revolution.  I haven't read it yet.  I know this sounds absolutely uneducated of me.  That's true.  The point is less for me to have all the answers but to create some discussion together.  I don't know what I ought to believe about the 5-fold, and I don't have to figure it out immediately.  

As with entering into the Free Grace movement, I didn't check my brain at the door.  I was so enriched by the theology, but I found a place where I could contribute my voice.  This led to something two friends and I started to write about called 3D Theology within the free grace perspective.  (Of course, my friends were entirely more capable of teaching than I could ever be.)  Trust me that as I go, I plan to put to use all God's enabling to discern things, and if something doesn't seem to be right, I'll admit it.  I will need to hear from others on this too in order to honor God's Word to the fullest.  Embark on the 5-fold journey with me?

JR Woodward is teaching Missio people right now about these five giftings.  As soon as I started to write down what he wrote on the whiteboard, I started to flip out.  I knew immediately which one I am and exclaimed, "that's me!"

It's because I can see myself in a certain gifting here, I am willing to give APEST a theological go.  I know people ought to start with scripture first to prove the truth, but when it comes to the relevance of the gifts today, we kinda have to look at our lives to a point and ask us to see what we can see.  I understand there is risk of deception here, I do.

If you would like to take the test I took with your own graph, you can take it online.  It is provided by 3DM here.

Why Should I Care About Acnowledging the Apostlic and Prophetic Gifts?

Well, because within each Body of believers there are what Mike Breen calls "settlers" and "pioneers."

Pioneers enjoy doing new things.  Instability does not scare them, and they are flexible to deal with whatever comes their way.  They are driven to break out from the routine and discover new challenges and go places others are not going.  To stay and develop a program that is established seems frustrating to them.  Pioneers are: Apostles, Prophets and Evangelists.

Settlers are interested in how to develop safety and stability.  They like to grow and develop what exists rather than scrap things for something new.  They like to see things finished well.  Settlers are: Shepherds and Teachers.

Think of the American old West.  Some people are natural pioneers who are driven to explore a new land.  Others crave developing the new towns that have been established by the pioneers.  Their passions are in conflict.  Both are necessary for the church to make successful disciples of the nations.

That the traditional Western church usually only recognizes the settler (developer) gifts of Teacher and Pastor means that when someone wants to call the church for a new territory, there isn't the language and legitimacy to back them and support their innovation in the church.  This lack of legitimacy for the pioneer giftings may be expressed in church splits and parachurch organizations.  The people writing about the 5-fold ministries make the case that the church needs the gifts of the pioneering end in order to fulfill the great commission and also they should be encouraged to stay put in the churches and train up other Christians to do the same things.

The Results of the Test

"He was never in time for his classes,
He was never on time for his dinner;
Then one day he wasn't in his time at all..."

Mike Breen makes the case in his book Building A Discipling Culture that we all have a base ministry, but are called at different seasons of our lives to develop Spiritual ability in the other 4 gifts.  He says you know that it's not your base gifting if, after awhile of practicing another gifting, the grace seems to run out, and all you can think about is going back to what you can't help but do.

I'm pretty certain that my base gifting, what I can't help but do, is prophetic.  That doesn't mean that I believe in Prophets like the Old Testament, sent by God to say "Thus says the LORD."  It's kind of like a reversal of my earthly self.  In real life, I'm late everywhere I go; and ironic that in the Spirit I keep time quite well.

I don't think of Spiritual offices or titles.  It's not the same as it was at the beginning of the church....  But at this point, I would say there are personality tendencies, or grooves, or ways that we operate in the Spirit.  These Spiritual tendencies I would say, for now, could be the 5-fold perspective from Ephesians.  Here is what JR Woodward summarizes about the 5:

APOSTLE  Awakener.   Focal Concern: Living out our calling.  Destination: Following Jesus and cultivating the growth of the kingdom.

PROPHET  Revealer.  Focal Concern: Walking with God.  Destination: Spirit transforming communities, standing with the poor and oppressed.

EVANGELIST  Teller.   Focal Concern: Incarnating the good news.  Destination: Becoming a people of welcome and redemptive agents.

PASTOR  Healer.  Focal Concern: Pursuing wholeness in the community.  Destination: Experiencing healing and pursuing wholeness and embodying reconciliation.

TEACHER  Giver.   Focal Concern: Inhabiting the sacred text.  Destination: Immersing ourselves in the Sacred Text and living faithfully in the story of God.

There are much more lengthy descriptions of each of these at the bottom hotlinks under the page of my results, here.  They describe their strengths and faults.  In the next 5 posts I'll share what I can gather at this time about the five gifts, in order of how my score went, highest to low.  I'm not interested in challenging church structures and hype pioneer gifts over the settler gifts.  I just want some information on why in the world I am driven like I am; why I keep acting broken in predicable manners.

If you want to take the test online for free, it's here.

Here is an article in Christianity Today on the 5-fold, Three Overlooked Leadership Roles.

If you need a theological approach to sell this to yourself, Alan Hirsch's book: The Permanent Revolution.

J.K.'s Story

This is my friend's story.  Her name is Jamie Barquest and she and I and her mother have reviewed this material before making it public.  Jamie is 20 years old and her nickname is J.K.


Q:  Are juggalos only family networks, or are they also a gang? 

A:  I have a street family downtown, but family is different than a juggalo. You can be part of a juggalo family. You can be family but not be part of a juggalo. It all depends on the respect you have toward people.  Once you give enough respect you start to call them your brother or your sister, moms or dads. Sometimes people just keep their family, family. Not everyone downtown is a juggalo. In order to be one you have to pretty much have to get approval of it. You can't start your own juggalo; you have to have been in one for almost a year, sometimes even longer. Then you can get permission to start one on your own. I had permission.

Some people will consider it a gang in some ways. Juggalos claim territory. Down town is a wide open. You don't want to claim a wide area like that, so we share it with two other gangs. I don't even want to mention their names because I don't want any trouble between juggalos and them. With those who are gangs, they have respect for us and we have respect for them. I don't know everything about juggalos and how they are or are not like a gang.  In the area by 20th between D and Center St., there lives a juggalette who knows more and has had multiple families and has been through that for about two years now. There is one juggalo family whose territory runs from Portland Rd. to Lancaster Ave. where it crosses Ward at the Arco station. That's Jesse's juggalo. Justin's juggalo has all of Keizer.

Q:  How do they defend their territory? Are they challenged to defend it?

A:  I don't think so. People don't care if you're in the territory unless you try and fight them. You're more and welcome to walk on their territory.

Q:  Is the juggalo family there to support you? 

A:  My street dad, Animal, is the head of the juggalos in all of Salem. He watched my ex-boyfriend very closely. They all chased him away when he put his hand on me. Your family always has your back. You're not supposed to kick anyone out of the family unless everyone votes. But, I was kicked out of a family without a vote. Elmo decided I was out because I am all about myself, she said. I said that's not true. I share my money to get other people things that they need, when it comes to drinks or food, I will give it if I have it....

Q:  How old were you when you started becoming aware of the Juggalos in downtown? 

A:  I heard... bits and pieces at the age of 12 or 13. It never came across my mind to join up with one till after I left my mom's house and she completely disowned me. I was 19. When I was 17 or 18 I really knew a lot about them, but now that I've been a part of the juggalos for almost two years, I have more knowledge.

Q:  How do you get out of the family? 

A:  You can leave a family at any time. Not all juggalos are gang informed. One of them made it into a gang. His name was Jay. Animal and Farah ran him out of town. He is not allowed to wear the hatchet anymore. He was trying to take over Salem and leave no place for anyone else which is not right, and claim Animal's family. He's pretty much done for here.  The way I was brought into this, is not a gang. Jesse knows more about whether it is a gang, he wanted me to join. He was going to join Jay's crew. But Jay told him that in order to join he had to be shot in the head with a bee bee gun six times. But Jesse said no, and he walked away. That's when Jay started to lose his influence. No Sex Affender can wear any hatchet gear. Animal put that out as a rule. You can't be a juggalo and have hurt someone in any way. They'll fight I won't deny that, they'll fight over the right reasons though.

Q:  Has it been just like a family to you? Did Animal give you drama when you came in? 

A:  Animal has not given drama he and the rest opened up their arms when I joined. They've offered me drinks and food when I needed it. They'll help as much as they can. They help you with pretty much anything, warm places to sleep, anything. Yes Animal lives at the mission and yes Animal has been to jail; he is on probation. Just because they have been to jail that doesn't mean everybody who has been to jail has started a juggalo family, or is a bad person. But I don't wanna go down there anymore. Farah won't come downtown at all, either. Why - pointless. I would rather die before something bad happens again. It ain't worth it again. "A Place Called Hope" is where I will go, or at the Mission. I don't want to hang out with a lot of people anymore. My ex-boyfriend has tuned a lot of my friends against me. He could still be in Jesse's crew (juggalo). (It's more professional saying juggalo family than "crew.") I still have family down there. Two street moms, now I have three. Lots of street brothers. They became my family before I became a juggalette. Other than that why should I go down there? They don't really care about me. They are not calling or texting to show me they really care.

Q:  Tell me about the teenagers who hang out down there and join juggalos. 

A:  Most teenagers have parents who are drug addicts or alcoholics or don't care what they do or do not do. Like my friend Anna was told by her mom, "I don't care what time you come home tonight just make sure if you have sex you use a condom." In some ways I look at that and try to understand what kind of mother wants her daughter to go out there and have sex, at such a young age. But then you have other parents. Parents that kick their teens out and tell them to live on the streets to survive on their own. Same thing, why would a parent want to do that? Sometimes parents drive around looking for their kid at night. All these kids are growing up to do whatever they know to do that takes away their anger and aggression and depression and anxiety. Yes they do multiple drugs, some of them are always on something when I see them. They always are high I never see them sober. I stand by my friends' sides. I know how it feels. I'm not saying I'm the perfect person and not tried anything because I have. I've gone from smoking pot to sniffing spray paint, doing ecstasy and smoking meth once. One of my close friends I had in my past, Jules, told me, "why put something in your body to take away the pain. It ain't worth it, those problems are still going to be there the next day."  I've learned that; it took me three years. I feel sorry for everybody that I see and that I get to know who are homeless or trapped in a gang or have parents who want nothing to do with them. The reason why I joined to become a juggalette is to be more than just a family. It's because of all the outcasts that my heart is moved. There are some people who have no family, they don't even talk to their regular family. I want to be there to welcome them with open arms.

Q:  And are there homeless people downtown in juggalos? 

A:  Some of the people down there are also homeless. Outsiders look at the homeless that they aren't as good as they seem and that they don't need any help. They don't realize that a lot of them that I know are always there. Last week one of them made a necklace for me. There's a lot of people out there who actually care and would do anything. Literally give me the jacket off their back when they barely knew me just because I was cold. One let me use his duffle bag as a pillow and watch my stuff for me so I could nap.  I can have anything that I need as long as someone has the money or food stamps to get it. But that doesn't mean I can take it for granted. "Hey can you get me this can you get me that" - it doesn't work that way. I try to do what I think is right, and lately trying to keep to myself and not do much outside of the house.

Epilogue

At the time I had interviewed Jamie for this post she had made several statements about how disillusioned she was about juggalos and going downtown again.  She had made a resolution to me and to herself to be done with much of those relationships.  She told me it was change in her life that she had somehow misplaced her hatchet necklace and couldn't wear it anymore.  She was keeping to her room and reading novels as a demonstration that she was finally making some choices for her own welfare as distinct from the community downtown.

However, three days later we hung out.  She was wearing a bright purple and black hatchet shirt, and had a new boyfriend, and had been downtown earlier in the day.

Her mother is disappointed to learn about this.  We both feel that Jamie underrecognizes her family and upbringing that has been faithfully given to her all her life.  Therefore the conversation between daughter and mother continues, and they bless me because they are both friends and a part of my life and I theirs.

Thinking Strategically

The first and last thought I have for Jamie is to see her leave the juggalos in order to find Christ in a deeper way.  But I am learning lately, this is a fallacy.  I used to want to help Christ followers find fresh relationships within the church walls and I was quite fine with the thought of replacing their old friends with friends at church.  But like the teacher in this video below, I realize how much a mistake it is to think that way.

I believe we need to stop pulling people out of their contexts.  Rather I desire to see them remain in it, and teach them how to be disciples whereever they happen to find their community.  "I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one" (John 17:15).  In the next post I hope to continue discussion on strategies for bringing Christ to juggalos, and hope that readers will join in.

This video is alright but if you might watch from minute 11:45 till the end (about 3-4 minutes from that starting point), this is what is so helpful.  Patterson gets offstage and gives a visual demonstration from members of the audience.

The Juggalos in Downtown Salem

Over the last month I have had the opportunity to learn a little more deeply about a friend of mine.  She had been using the word "juggalo" occasionally and I finally asked her "Don't you mean 'jiggalo'?"

"No, I don't know what a jiggalo is.  I meant juggalo."

Juggalos are the name given to fans of the music band Insane Clown Posse (ICP).  "Juggalo" is the term the singers of the band gave to their fans as a way of saying you're part of the family, part of the fan base.  ICP is a horror-rap underground band with violent and sexual lyrics.  The fans love singing these extreme lyrics as a way release pent up anger.  The fans consider themselves a family - and family is what they practice together in the places where they live.

I'm still learning a lot about the juggalo systems of family.  So perhaps some of what I write here is not truly accurate.  Some areas in the country have identified juggalos and juggalettes (male and female fan counterparts) as a gang.  They have been declared a gang by the FBI in Modesto, California; Detroit, Michigan; and in the states of Arizona, Utah and Pennsylvania.  But most fans dispute their being a gang.

They are typically an easily identified group.  They don themselves with "hatchetwear" - depicting a running man with a hatchet, or else wearing clown facepaint as the members of the band do during their performances.  The memorabilia can be purchased at the retail outlet "Hot Topic."

What is most interesting about the juggalos is the sense of family and belonging they have developed.  As far as I understand it, these people rally under the identity of being extremely poor, homeless, or outcasts in high school or society.  A sense of family is forged and members will watch out and care for one another.  There are many juggalos and juggalettes in Salem especially the downtown area.

Juggalos have a yearly national "Gathering."  It is four day festival not dissimiliar to Woodstock back in the 1960s.  They come to hear the band and revel in the unity of family coming together into one place.

I asked to publish my friend's story a few nights ago.  She said yes.  Her story will be the material of the next post.  Some of my questions made her feel the need to check answers with other juggalos.  She told me she would talk to "Animal" who is the leader of the juggalos in the Salem area.  She asked me, "Would you like to interview Animal yourself?"

"Um, I don't want to interview him," I replied.  "But I wouldn't mind talking to him.  I just would like to get to know him and his story.  That would be cool."

Two days later she and I talked and she said, "I asked Animal if he would like to be interviewed, and he said yes he would."

I replied again saying, "Well I don't want to interview him only for a blog post.  Maybe we could talk, over a meal.  I would do that."

The Significance of Juggalo Families

Juggalos on the street

I am beginning to understand that all of my friend's friends are connected the juggalo system of families, which is perhaps a soft gang.  This explains why she spends most of her time with them.  They are always together.  They are hardly ever apart.  They live life together and share their financial resources.  They are always there for each other when something goes wrong, deeply intimate with the lives of one another.  They sleep together, eat together, solve problems together.

There is an important reason I'm treating this to a blog post, and bothering to dryly interview my friend:  I find their example to be a high challenge to the Church.  Yes we believers have something to learn from those outside the faith.  Certainly we can invite outcasts and the poor into daily family of comparable intimacy as this - where they could learn the hope of redemption in the blood of Jesus?

Let's dream for a moment on what Christian community could look like outside the church walls....  Imagine if we had small families of believers dedicated to being disciples - we would be living out our lives with each other with gospel intentionality - and also be engaged in the rhythms of life of the people we want to reach....



Life in The Crowded House from TCH Sheffield on Vimeo.


More information on ICP and Juggalos:

Wiki


"Beneath the Greasepaint, The Roar of 'Fam-i-ly!'" (an article by the New York Times) 

Let's Do Your Mission

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness.
Let the whole world know what He has done.
Sing to him; yes sing His praises.
Tell everyone about His miracles.
Exult in His holy name;
O worshipers of the LORD, rejoice!
Search for the LORD and for His strength,
and keep on searching.

Ps. 105:1-4

In the previous posts share the Document I wrote beginning two winters ago.  It was good for a purpose; mostly my own to try and understand what God was doing and therefore what He wanted to do moving forward.  As I wrote in Missional Community: My Story, last December after months of praying God introduced me Soma (a Missional Community organization) on Christmas Day as a gift.  Here is Ben Joyce's vision document explaining Soma in the San Francisco area.  You will find it highlights more or less the same things I had been writing about.  Here are some key words and definitions they used in their document:

- "Identity"  So we see ourselves as missionaries, our homes as missionary outposts, and our neighborhoods and workplaces as the mission field to which we are sent. (pg. 6) 
- "Family"  God has always desired a people, an earthly family, who would live in such a way that the world would know what he is like (pg. 8) 
- "Discipleship"  As disciples who make disciples, we take responsibility for our own development and the development of others. (pg. 9) 

Implementation 

There was a page seven to the document I had written and I had just barely started on it:

Would you pray for these steps of implementation?

A. Prayer for God to bring out those willing workers 
B. Knitting together with the experienced in disciple making: what each part supplies 
C. Knitting together with those who are newer to disciple making: what each part needs 
D. Corporate prayer in faith for divine appointments with the lost in Salem


That's all I wrote.  Since December I have been in the stage of implementation.  My vision has been to find people who are experienced at making disciples who can help me, and/or people who want to learn how to make disciples, in the space of the context of their own neighborhoods.  But that's not all.

Something else has been developing in my mind.  Something even bigger than the Document.  I'm not done here; I'm aiming even higher.

Now I'm looking for people who might listen to the Holy Spirit with me and pray for the purpose of releasing our community in a fervent interest to experience God's powerful plans for their own life.  In one word, "release."  To me, anymore, it's not enough that God has released me to achieve my own vision of His will on earth as it is in Heaven.  Now I want to see your vision come to fruition through the power of God and through listening to His Spirit's voice and obeying it.  Remember the vision that I have?  It was "God was telling me that He was pleased that I wanted to make more disciples, but He showed me that I didn't have enough time for one more person.  He was showing me that what I needed to reproduce was not more disciples, but myself - I needed to reproduce disciple makers." But that's too small a perspective.  I don't want people following the vision God has given me.  It's not ultimately helpful for my own spiritual growth or theirs.

Let me explain to you where I am lopsided and weak.

In this simple diagram Mike Breen of 3DM (another Missional Community organization) depicts three components to spiritual health and growth.  There is the "Up" component.  Some churches, some individual Christians are really good at doing "up" - they have their devotions of God and they spend quality time connecting with God and being filled with His presence and purposes.  There is the "In" component.  Some churches and individuals are really good at doing "In" - when it comes to relationships inside the church with other believers, they invest deeply in them to receive and bless one another and grow in their appreciation of God through fellowship and unity.  Lastly there is the "Out" component.  Some churches and individuals are really good at experiencing deep connection with God through reaching out to people who are not yet God's, to revere Him at work in the lives of those outside the community of God.

Some churches/people are really good at say, "Up" and "In," but really struggle at "Out."  Or they could be really good at doing both "Out" toward the world and "In" toward each other but don't spend time focusing and gaining strength in time directed purely at God alone.

Me?  I am all "Up" and "Out."  :)  My relationship with the Father gives me fulfillment in His activity in the World.  I have been this way for years.  I believe the Document was a way to try and seed my own determination to develop "In."  It takes a lot of concentration because my values are pretty entrenched.

For example.  Just last weekend I had the opportunity to go on a camping trip to have fellowship with a bunch of Christians who I admire.  But at the same time I had just been getting to know a neighbor on my street who has the most amazing story.  This guy finds out he has a son, just 11 months ago and the mother gives him sole custody.  He's never been a father before and the boy came from a neglectful background.  The same weekend as the camping trip is the boy's birthday.  The father admits to me, "Gosh, I have to throw a birthday party for him."  He's never done it before!  And this man says none of the neighbors have even talked to him till us.  He hasn't talked to another adult in two months!

My usual way of thinking goes like this: "How in the world am I supposed to laugh and have fun with Christians when this neighbor has a real need?"  "I would always choose the lost over time with Christians," I think to myself.  I wonder at seeing my values in living color, right before my eyes!  It's not even a pride thing - I don't think I'm going to save the world.  It's so much simpler than that.  I just don't feel good when I know someone is genuinely hurting and I'm off having a grand time.  It's like the 99 and the 1 that was lost.  My heart screams, "go."  But at some point I have to trust God, (right?) with the "Out" and make some more space for "In" time, or it will never happen.  So by faith, I can do that.  I can trust God with a little less "Out" to make some "In."  :)  So, I'm learning.

So - please help me by being "In" in my world, by rubbing off on me.  I'm a stubborn learner.

Here is another diagram by Breen.  The goal is to get Christians out of the Bored, Stressed or Cozy/Lazy quadrants and into the upper right hand corner, the Empowered component.  Breen calls this "Low Control, High Responsibility."  Another name for the Empowered quadrant is, "Release".

What I Believe

My mentors taught me, and I am 100% convinced, that everybody has a seat at the table.  Your story? That's your seat.  All you or I have to do in order to see God at work is show up with our story.  What is your story?  Your story is what your passions are and what has become broken along the way.  Perhaps you hunger and thirst for righteousness in the land.  Perhaps your passion is to care for the marginalized.  I don't know what God has put in your heart.  But God came and opened up His teaching on what the Kingdom of God was like and identified His mission with YOUR MISSION, YOUR battles for what is good on earth; Matt 5:1-10,

And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him.  Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

He didn't ask for a creed or a confession of faith in God as the ticket to participate.  He asked YOU about YOUR STORY.  There was something of God put in man - which is that we are made in His image, and He came to redeem what was marred and twisted and set it straight through blessing which comes through following the Son of God.

What's your story?  What happened to you?  That's where God wants to enter in and I want to watch it happen.  Before I can help you with your mission, I need to know your vision of God's will.  I want to walk in to the good works that you were set aside to do.  Most of all I want to do this together.  I want to pray for you and pray with you.  So much bigger than the vision of one person is many visionaries mutually releasing one another.

How do you find yourself on these diagrams?  I want to know!

I'm in the "Bored" and "Stressed" quadrants and I'm believing that making room for more "In" will increase the "Invitation" I am seeking.

I believe we all hear the Holy Spirit speak to us in different ways.  How does He speak to you?  I am curious to learn this.  I hear Him most clearly through hearing people's stories and considering the legitimacy of what God has put in their heart as they bring to bear their story on God's community.  But I am hearing in only one sort of way and I'm convinced I would hear God in a more fully rounded way if you would share what God is saying to you especially in the way that He confirms things in your life.   I need to learn the different ways of hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I crave "In" - time with Christians - right now.

I don't even care about my vision anymore.  I'm interested in yours.  I want to do your vision.  I'm looking for a few people who want to come together and begin to pray and share what God might be saying to them.  I want to pray together at least once a week.  Maybe meet twice a week.  I have dear Christian friends who I share fellowship with regularly, and I am inviting them now for the space of specific prayer time for this purpose.  Want to??  Let's talk!



In this video Jeff Vanderstelt, the creator of Soma confirms my Document (wow!) with the theme of Identity ("the draw of this ministry is YOU with CHRIST") and the Epistle of Ephesians in what I feel is the best explanation on video yet of the missional movement.

Sub-Missional

What's the word embedded in "submission"?  It's mission.  Where do we get our mission from?  From listening to others.

"Sub" means to set under
"Mission" means to cause to go

Today you might spend say five minutes listening to a story from a person you're not sure has eternal life.  How might you submit to their mission in this world and interlay it with the hope and power of the gospel?  What would that change of your objectives in a normal everyday conversation?

Michael Frost never connected the idea of "submission" with the concept of "listening" in the video below.  Nevertheless I would like to offer the suggestion.  Frost says that mission cannot be incarnated out of our own interests.  Incarnation comes through intimate-knowing the people you want to reach.

The Document: Location, Location, Location

The Gospel is Everything

Merging the location of incarnation and not-yet-believers

Perhaps you have found differently, but I used to be a scientific atheist who later explored the major religions of the world before becoming Christian.  I have not known another god who freely gives His presence upon request alone.  There is no other god who gives integrity that soberly stares in the face of trials.  There is no other god I've heard of who gives mercy for faults and grace for victory.  There is no other god who delivers on promises of freedom from bondage in addictions and wounds.  There is no other god who espouses a cocktail of unity and yet variety.  There is no other god which teaches me to lead with weaknesses or miraculously paints a picture of moving closer toward, not gaining distance, from the most dangerous of people on this earth.

Everything I have comes from the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.  That is why the most worthwhile things I will steward will continue to come through the gospel.

People are Not Targets

For years when there was a large attraction at which the gospel message was eventually given I would crumple over.  Something struck me as off and for so long I couldn't put my finger on it.  Now I know how to say it:  People are not targets.  There are a few not-yet-believers who are seeking God very consciously and if they should walk into a gospel presentation, they'll joyfully receive it.  I praise God for these.  Most of the rest need more than a two minute invitation if they are to be enabled to understand the significance and power of the gospel.

I'm also feeling like an opportunist, in a different space.  I speak the term "Disciple Making" and it sounds condescending in my ears but Jesus didn't speak that term that way.  I get the same crumple feeling in my own attempts.  I still hope that the right time to share the gospel with a stranger is when they look like they need hope.  However are they too, obligated to hear the gospel message for two minutes?  Maybe.  There's something off inside of me and I know what it is now: people are not targets.

Incarnation Replaces Feelings of Opportunism

I feel crumpled about sharing the gospel and splitting out on a person, because the Spirit is prompting me to make the gospel three-dimensional.  To be fair there is nothing inherently opportunistic in sharing the gospel in two minutes in a large attractive event or on the street corner when someone needs a lift.  There is nothing wrong with approaching people directly and immediately sharing the gospel.  Paul took an opportunity with Lydia.  He sought out the riverside because it was known as a religious place of prayer.  He spoke aloud to see if God would open anyone's heart, and Lydia and her house responded.

After that scene Paul lived with them.  This was more than an opportunity to persuade people, it was a way of life.  He took it past the riverside and into daily life.  I believe daily life is the best avenue to make disciples.  All people are impressionable and are following something.  The ongoing exposure of daily living erodes initial suspicion of opportunism (or even manipulation to some perhaps) that comes through a two minute investment.  It replaces it with a sense of faithfulness and belonging and personality of Christ in me.  The gospel takes on the sensing of a pure gift, completely genuine, because I offer myself just as they do - both parties choose to engage simply through being present.  When I am asked to testify of the gospel in a context of those I see every day, all the walls and defenses have a chance to fall down, as true charity from the supernatural Spirit shines forth.  We call this "incarnation."

The way to make disciples though incarnation includes:

- Loving others and expressing oneness with the human condition  (the beatitudes)
- Serving others and demonstrating their worth at cost to our own interests  (identity as son of man)
- Testifying to others how Jesus is incarnating Himself in our own life  (imitation)
- Listening to others about what is happening in their life and pointing out to them where God is wanting to be or is currently at work in their own life (identity as son of God)

The Location Factor

Those of us engaged in church programs have the opportunity to incarnate Jesus Christ through daily living around those who already know Jesus; this is time spent with those who attend church.  It takes a lot of work behind the scenes to produce a viable program at church and so most of our relationships and time is vested there.  We can love, serve, testify and listen to fellow saints in those church places.  However we're sharing all that incarnation with people who already have eternal life.  We spend the great majority of our time with believers to bring about a two hour event where the gospel is shared with not-yet-believers for two minutes.  Nothing is inherently wrong with that, but is this all the time they're worth?  How might the church merge the location of not-yet-believers into this ripe place of Saints incarnating the Savior?

Below in "Personal Note" are stories of redemption with the people whom I spend the majority of time.  These are people we eat with, go to movies with, run errands with.  They're as good as family, friends to Ben and I and our kids.  We love them dearly and they love us too.  We've been together for years.  I continually need hope through Jesus and live and speak correspondingly.  And they know this and are excited to tell of their own hope in Jesus because they know I would understand it.  There isn't anything opportunistic about disciple making.  We are learning together how there is no other god that saves us.

(from the document...)

Personal Note

By the grace of God I have had the privilege of doing a variety of things through Christ and I believe therefore that anyone else can exercise God's power and even much more. I have leaned into God to settle disputes and provide lay counseling. While sharing the gospel we once prayed for court proceedings against a loved one and the next day the charges were dropped and this person returned to their family. I have fed hungry neighbors and watched children because I was ready according to the whispering of the Spirit. By God's wisdom I wrote a parenting plan for a mother and her children, which a year later both child and parent told me that it was right. A 19 year old woman insists she is another child of mine, and now she calls me to hear what the Bible says about an issue in her life, and shares the gospel where she dwells the most and I am amazed how the gospel has taken on meaning for her. Another precious friend teaches me every time we're together what it means to share the gospel boldly as she believes she is learning that somehow from me.  When only God told me someone should obtain justice, by Him we found free lawyers from Willamette U. and food and money resources for a woman who was being abused and abandoned. God gave me courage to speak truthfully against drug use and homosexuality and lying and fornication and excessive anger. I was arranged by God when a checker at the grocery store was literally about to break at the news earlier in the day that her husband committed adultery and gave her a long hug and reminded her about help from the LORD. I have seen God save the mentally handicapped, children, the ungodly, the cultic, and the agnostic. I accept because I saw evidence of the Spirit, in spite how some barely express they believe for a long time at first. I have later reaped over and over again beautiful articulations of what the gospel means and how they are pleased to trust God with their circumstances. These people used to be strangers to me and without any way to understand who God is and what He means to them personally, even if they had heard the gospel somewhere and at some point may have been persuaded that Christ was their Savior, but had no way to grow. Those I shared the gospel with years ago have subsequently shared the gospel with several people in their sphere and so I am tickled that I have grandchildren in Him. This is my family! :) No one can put a cap on how awesome serving the King truly is. I want more power in me and in my family and more glory for Him. All this is a miracle, I am convinced, because I am not trained at all. Making much of the Spirit before others is His idea. It may be true that I have a gift in evangelism, but disciple making is for all believers; therefore anyone can do it, even if it is just one person in this city. So many Christians already do, so praise the LORD! 


With a prayer alone God could accomplish all these things Himself. He doesn't need anyone, however in disciple making, His way is to use just that. Peter was told to travel to Cornelius and use his own mouth to share the gospel. Cornelius had to wait for Peter to come to be saved. It wasn't until a disciple maker met a God-fearer and shared grace and truth that God had His purpose accomplished. For this reason I am not concerned with criticism of self-centeredness. 


My reason in proposing The Disciple Making Workhorse comes from prayer. God kept saying “Yes” to my prayers to connect with another person, and then later He would say “Stop!” when I was in the midst of it. I want time with my family to remain protected because those relationships are primary in God's eyes. I realized I don't have time to do it all. I want another disciple and God is pleased. But I don't have any more brain cells or moments on my calendar to have another person in. The LORD showed me that what I need to do is reproduce myself. I am willing, but I need not lead it. I think this is the LORD's heart: that the willing be conscientious and transformed to do the work of making disciples. 


There is something significant lost when I hand off a paper instead of talking face to face with other believers. I can't find visible networks of those who make disciples, I must be busy running down the wrong corridors or something. I would rather talk face to face, but I'm not sure who I need to talk to, yet. And the paper gives some advantages. You can check the scriptures mentioned here and see if God brings other aspects of His Word to your heart. It becomes something you can take home and consider how you would explain your hope of making disciples. You could write a testimony of what God has already done for His Kingdom, through you, and I would love to hear this! I don't feel it a matter of pride, God has commanded saints to proclaim the things He has done through His people. In any case, passion for the lost is being stirred up! Perhaps there are a few people at church who gather together outside of church to do this very thing, already - I would like to know where they are and join up with what they are doing! If this isn't for you, that's fine. I know it's for me. And I believe that God is going to bring me to the people who seek to be knit together, wherever they are at.