The Power of Praying 'Arise'

(this post was originally written on 11/13/12)

Today I am reminded, 

"Each one should be careful how he builds."

Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;  Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.  If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.  If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

I used to pray "Lord, open a door for this ministry, Lord, open a door for that message."  Then, I prayed, "Lord, Arise, open a door for Yourself, and come in."  He has come, He has arisen.  He is passing through this church.  I see stubble in me.  I have feared men, made them weighty in my heart and mind.  This is a sin.

The word "splendor" also means, "weighty."  God should be the weighty one in my heart, the one of splendor, the one I alone fear.

I see God who is fearsome.  Ezek. 21:16-17

Swords at the ready!
Thrust right!
Set your blade!
Thrust left--
Wherever your edge is ordered!
I also will beat My fists together,
And I will cause My fury to rest;
I, the LORD, have spoken.

Do I dare believe He will spare me just because I have the gift of eternal life?  No, God is no respecter of persons.  He did not spare His own people from fire.  Isaiah 27:10-11,

Yet the fortified city will be desolate,
The habitation forsaken and left like a wilderness;
There the calf will feed, and there it will lie down
And consume its branches.
When its boughs are withered, they
will be broken off;
The women come and set them on fire.
For it is a people of no understanding;
Therefore He who made them will 
not have mercy on them,
And He who formed them will 
show them no mercy.

These branches are the same mentioned to the church in John 15:5-6,

I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.

This is a verse for Christians, and everyone else who might have appropriated the righteousness of God's living water into their lifestyle.  The word "branch" means ruler, son, king (Matthew 24:32, Zecharaiah 6:12, Isaiah 60:21, Psalm 80:15).  That is why I will never forget worship dancing on Palm Sunday, when King Jesus enters Jerusalem and the people ushered Him by waving palm branches.  Palm branches are a symbol of a victorious son or a ruler.  What sort of rulers am I replicating into this world I will leave behind - righteous sons, or wicked sons?  This is what it means to be a branch for Jesus that bears fruit in the world.  To the church Jesus warns in Romans 11:20-22,

Do not be haughty, but fear.  For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either.  Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness.  Otherwise you also will be cut off.

Not our whole life will be cut off from the presence of God.  When it says, "you" will be cut off, I believe it means, "in regard to any work of your life under consideration at the moment."  I believe for our delight God gives saints the command to lift holy hands.  Take a look at your hand, your palm.  I believe every time a Christian raises his hands he thanks God and agrees with the Spirit for a righteous branch, a righteous people, coming out of their life.

It is only because a Christian's heart continues to pursue Him that a Christian is favored.  God has mercy on sins done in ignorance.  He has mercy on those who want to know Him.  God gives grace to all who ask, however some choose not to seek it.  When the light comes, and it is coming now, the wicked and the righteous are freshly discerned.  Isaiah 25:10-11,

With my soul I have desired You in the night
Yes, by my spirit within me I will seek You early;
For when your judgments are in the earth,
The inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.
Let grace be shown to the wicked,
Yet he will not learn righteousness;
In the land of uprightness he will deal unjustly,
And will not behold the majesty of the LORD.
LORD, when your hand is lifted up, they will not see.

I want to see Jesus as He arises for His people, to bring them every depth of salvation.  I can't make Him give the depths of salvation to me.  I can't earn His mercy with anything I do for Him.  He gives it freely.  Psalm 40:13,

Be pleased to save me, LORD...

I love how God's Word gives me boldness to say what is both true and significant before the dawn has made everything apparent.  Those who fear the LORD have assurance.  Malachi 3:16-4:2,

Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another,
And the Lord listened and heard them;
So a book of remembrance was written before Him
For those who fear the Lord
And who meditate on His name.
“They shall be Mine,” says the Lord of hosts,
“On the day that I make them My jewels.
And I will spare them
As a man spares his own son who serves him.”
Then you shall again discern
Between the righteous and the wicked,
Between one who serves God
And one who does not serve Him.
For behold, the day is coming,
Burning like an oven,
And all the proud, yes, all who do wickedly will be stubble.
And the day which is coming shall burn them up,”
Says the Lord of hosts,
“That will leave them neither root nor branch.
But to you who fear My name
The Sun of Righteousness shall arise
With healing in His wings;
And you shall go out
And grow fat like stall-fed calves.

The jewels, those precious things I can build upon the foundation of my salvation - what are the jewels according to scripture?  In Malachi above, Jesus calls people His jewels.  What are jewels for NT saints?  The same: they are people.  This prophecy in Isaiah below was fulfilled by the woman at the well in John 4.  Isaiah 49:18, 22-23,

Lift up your eyes, look around and see;
All these gather together and come to you.
As I live,” says the Lord, “
You shall surely clothe yourselves with them all as an ornament,
And bind them on you as a bride does.
Behold, I will lift My hand in an oath to the nations,
And set up My standard for the peoples;
They shall bring your sons in their arms, 
And your daughters shall be carried on their shoulders;
Kings shall be your foster fathers,
And their queens your nursing mothers;
They shall bow down to you with their faces to the earth,
And lick up the dust of your feet.
Then you will know that I am the Lord,
For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me.

The power of praying "arise" is that He makes me get out of the way.  He stands out alone as pure.  Being judged as sinning feels like fire, now.  It is unpleasant to discover that my choices are stubble to Him.  It is much more wonderful afterward to see His Kingdom developing in me!  I'm thankful that He saves me because He is pleased to do so.  And I pray that through repentance, God would help me stay in step with Him as He passes through.

Thank you Jesus, for your life on earth, your death and resurrection, which makes this hope for jewels my greatest opportunity.

Biology Class Growing Up

Monday evening I walked into a class I wasn't even signed up for because I got an email about it.  It's a perspectives course on Christian work throughout the world.  The topic was missionaries to unsent peoples.  As I was walking into my church, into my Sunday school room where we've been lately pouring over the issue of creation vs. evolution, guess who was standing there to register me in the class?

I shook my head in disbelief as I approached.  It was obvious God was up to something.  I smiled at him and said, "You're Mr. Shrout, right?"  He was indeed.

He is my science teacher from when I was in 7th and 8th grades.  Amazing.  This is just another step in almost a year's worth of development that God is making for me in my life when it comes to the issue of creationism vs. evolution.

In fact I've been trying to write this blog post since June 12th.

It all started when I was in my friend April's church last spring, visiting one of their services.  An older gentleman walked up to me afterward and said to me with a smile, "I know who you are.  You're... Michele, right?"

"Yes," I said.  I looked at him for awhile.  I recognized his face and I smiled big.  "I know you too...!" I trailed off.  I couldn't figure out how I knew him.  He filled in the blanks.

He said, "You were in my science class."

"Yes, I remember.  You're... Mr. ..," and I almost said it as he did, "Mr. Haight."  I smiled bigger and said, "Oh my gosh!  I remember being in your class!  Biology at North Salem High."

He said, "I remember you were really good at science, seemed to know a lot of the answers, that's what I recall about you."  I smiled and I tried to shuck his compliment away but he continued.  "I remember one day I was upset with the whole class because of how badly they did on a test.  You raised your hand and said, 'It's our fault for how we did.'  And that made me feel like you were defending me, it was nice of you."

I thought about that.  Coming to think of it later, I can remember that.  What I remember more is how on one time I took advantage of his trust.  There was a kid who was doing something naughty, and I advocated for him.  Looking back, the kid didn't deserve my advocacy.  Mr. Haight looked me in the eye about it and I felt it.  That's my memory.

I remember something else.  The funny kid in class was eating gummy bears.  When Mr. Haight turned his back to the class to write on the board, this guy would take a juicy bear out of his mouth and throw it full-force toward the wall or the ceiling.  It would stick.  Mr. Haight turned around and couldn't tell why people were laughing.  Ohh, the naughty things kids do!  But Mr. Haight was a great teacher.  He cared about the kids.  That's why I remember him so fondly.

Me in 5th grade

I told Mr. Haight as he was before me now, "I remember in class that sophomore year you had a creation vs. evolution debate for the students by the students.  I was on the evolution side.  I remember it was so odd to me that people used the Bible at all, or would argue things like that.  I thought everyone should or did believe in evolution.  That was the beginning of my awareness that there could be something else.  It was a big deal to me."

He didn't respond too much to that.  He moved on to ask me about my kids who I had brought with me.  He's been a Christian all this time, and a wonderful one at that.  How fascinating!  No wonder he wanted to have that debate in the classroom!

Fast forward to May.

My daughter Grace goes to an orientation for entering Middle School - Claggett.  I see this teacher at the school, and I think he looks familiar but it doesn't click in my thinking.  Later they announce "Life Science class is taught by Mr. Shrout."  What!  That was my science teacher when I was in Middle School (Whiteaker).  Then I realized who I had seen in the hall.

I find out over the summer that he is retiring that year.  So my daughter will not have the opportunity to have him for Life Science like I did growing up.

I wondered if he had recognized me.  I had seen him coming out of the school once or twice since May.  So this thought of actually getting to talk to him too has been building in my mind since last year.

One of my science teachers was a Christian, how neat!  But what if my other science teacher was not?  Mr. Shrout was my most favorite teacher of all.  He was my teacher when I kind of discovered that I loved science, and wanted to do stuff in science for the rest of my life.  That's the way I completely felt back then.

If I met him, what would I say?  All these months, I wondered.  I tried to explore my heart.  I could hear some normal questions he might politely ask.

"Did you end up doing something in paleontology?"

"Did you become an anthropologist like you had been thinking about?"

"Are you doing something in science at all?"

My answers:

"No."

"I stay at home with my kids."

"I'm trying to build momentum for something called 'missional communities.'"

"I'm a Christian, now.  So, ..?"

And all I could imagine someone saying in reply to that, is, "Oh."  And that's where I've never been able to figure out how the rest of my story, goes?  What would I say, about my love for science?  I feel like, I still love science.  I still know everything I once did.  It just doesn't mean as much to me.  Does that mean anything at all, to someone who teaches science for a living, who invests himself in students so they might become something someday?  I can't tell you how I solve the question of what hominid fossils are all about.  I don't know the answer between what the Bible says and what the fossil record shows.  I don't have enough science to make the Bible a scientific textbook.  I'm stuck saying mostly, "I don't know."

Do you see now why I couldn't finish this blog post?

(I even told my arch-nemesis in middle school that I was going to be a paleontologist when I grew up!)

Because of Monday evening, I realize I don't have to finish this blog post.  The story ends a little differently.   My other science teacher, is also a Christian!  Hm.

All of this, was built into this moment, walking into my church and seeing my science teacher standing there.  I don't have to try and explain why I'm a Christian, thank God for that!  He would know!

I said to him, "I was one of your students."  (He probably hears that a lot.)

"Oh, what year?"

I said, "About '92, '91..."

"Hmm," he said.

"I remember one of your jokes.  'Why didn't the moss hang out with the lichen?  Because he heard he wasn't a "fungi [pronounced 'fun guy'],'" I repeated to him.  He acknowledged.

"Remember, I did special reports on science over the summer because my dad made me study college level Biology?  I gave you a paper at the beginning of the year?  You asked me to be teacher's aide the following semester?  You had me help pass out papers?  One time you asked me to transfer dead frogs for dissection from one bucket to another bucket in the back storage room.  And I cried and said I couldn't do it?"

He listened and said, "I'm sorry, I don't remember."

I looked at the floor, and tried again.  "Remember I wrote down all your jokes you told in class on my book cover?"

His eyes lit up and he said, "Oh, that's YOU?" and took a step back.

"Yes, that's me," I said smiling.  "Remember at the end of the year you asked me if you could photocopy my book covers so you could keep all your jokes?"

He replied, "Yes, my son was just wondering where those were.  They put on a retirement party for me and he wanted those out as part of a display.  I'll have to text him in a little bit and let him know that I met you."

That was wonderful.  I was pretty sure my testimony of becoming a Christian would matter because he would remember the textbook covers.  But I still don't know what my testimony is, about science.

I remember that I was always raising my hand in class.  I remember the other kids eventually got annoyed.  They started to say, "Okay Michele just put your hand down" and I would laugh.  Kids thought I was teacher's pet.  I remember that Mr. Shrout was hilarious.  He was so funny.  He is humble about how funny he is.  Most of his jokes were puns, but I just remember the entire class breaking out into laughter out of nowhere because of him.  All the time.  I remember dissecting frogs and worms.  I remember his green bicycle that he stored in class.  Even back then it had a reputation: it was dubbed "the green machine."  I had so much fun in that class in 7th grade.

Over the summer my dad used to make me choose a college-level textbook and read it and write reports.  So I picked 200-level Biology and studied it.  When I got to the end of the summer I had written some papers on things like the evolution of man and chemistry of ATP converted to energy in the bloodstream.  I could draw the tree of human evolution and used it for speech class and for random papers in English all through middle school. I knew all about evolution.

In the last few years, I've tried to abandon what I know altogether.  Most of the books I read in the last few years about creationism only talk about the hoaxes, they don't really say anything about the thousands of fossils of hominids that are out there to be considered.  I guess I'm stuck between two worlds.

I didn't expect to discover that my science teachers were Christians.

I can't explain to you the sense of lostness that I lived in spiritually, growing up.  At 17 I saw the movie about what the Bible explains about Jesus.  I saw Jesus as strong.  And authoritative over creation.  Provocative.  A leader who meekly gave His life, dying cruelly.  He said He did it for me, and for everyone.  He depicted how God cared if a bird fell to the earth, and how much more God cared for me.  And then, He gave me His kind of JOY.  It changed my life.  I still didn't understand sin, or God, really.  Or what my purpose was.  I just knew that I knew the Author.  The Origin.

Me, age 17

Looking back, now, over all those years of feeling empty and lost, I just feel like God had this big hug, wrapped around me.  He was there.  All along.  Even though I was lost, He was there.  His people were there.  God was never that far away.

Why did I have to wait to get saved, I wonder?  So many people who were saved at the age of 17 have done much to glorify Jesus.  Just something I've noticed.  Reid Saunders was saved at 17.  Billy Graham was saved at 16.  The missionary who spoke to us Monday night who went on to give 20 years of his life to the Iteri people, was saved at the age of 17.  It is a kind of fervor that is truly annoying to those who are closest to you; they are a people who just won't stop talking about Jesus.

Don't you just love how provocatively God speaks?  Like sending my favorite science teacher into my church classroom on Monday night where the day before, we had been discussing evolution.  I marvel at God's message to me:

Honey, your science teachers were Christians, just like you.

Thank God for filling in the blanks, showing me His creative presence is so near.