Spiritual Abuse is Not New {1}

Is there such a thing as spiritual abuse?
Are we making a big deal out of nothing?

It is far-reaching and it can be as wounding as other forms of abuse. If you're a counselor, you may balk at that, and we don't mean to minimize sexual, physical or emotional abuse, which certainly leave people with serious wounds. Spiritual abuse, however, puts people at odds with their best Friend. It causes some people to question, doubt, and even run the other direction from their Source. They see their strongest Advocate as their biggest accuser, their Ally as their enemy.

But on what authority do we base our claim that spiritual abuse does exist? As we reexamined the Bible we suddenly saw a "picture" of two opposing spiritual systems: one that is under the reign of God, intended to bring life and freedom to the people; one a false spiritual system that is under the rule of men, attempting to drive people so that they perform in religious or "pseudo-spiritual" ways, oblivious to the fact that this drains life and steals power.

Jeremiah 5:26 "...for wicked men are found among my people... they set a trap, they catch men." Here is God's lament over the situation: "An appaling and horrible thing has happened in the land. The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule on their own authority" (vv. 30-31).

Notice that the abuse is happening from a place of religious authority. Spiritual abuse can only come from a place of power. It is possible to be abused by someone who doesn't have any true spiritual authority. In Jeremiah 6, we see spiritual neglect:

"For from the least of them even to the greatest of them, every one is greedy for gain, and from the prophet even to the priest everyone deals falsely. And they have healed the brokenness of my people superficially, by saying, 'Peace, peace,' but there is no peace"(vv. 13-14).

How sad! The religious leaders are so self-consumed that they don't have time or energy to minister to people's needs. The people of God are left to make do with the religious leftovers. Today, we might parallel Jeremiah's dilemma by examining our own spiritual setting in which the people of God are so often counseled to ignore their real needs and are offered placebos in the form of easy answers, "try hard" sermons, and the latest "get rich" formulas. As in all unhealthy relationships, in a spiritually abusive system the most important thing is how things look. So the ugly and messy relational process of meeting people's real needs gets sacrificed for a better-looking but false peace.

Many times, "You just need to tell your problem to the Lord," actually means, "Just don't tell it to me," or "Quit saying it out loud."

It takes only a superficial reading of the New Testament to see that Jesus was not at odds with "sinners" -- the prostitutes, lepers and the demonized -- but with the religious system of his day. In Matthew 23, referring to the religious leaders, Jesus says,

"They tie up heavy loads, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger" (vs 4).

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my load is light" (vv. 28-30).

The word "weary" refers to those in the act of working themselves to the point of exhaustion. It is important to see, that despite their ceaseless efforts, the weariness only grows. Trying hard only makes things worse.

There is the neglect of real needs in favor of the "needs" of authority; then legalism replaces rest in God with demands for spiritual performance.

True prophets stand in front of a narrow gate, the one that says "Come to me, all who labor...". You can only fit through this gate if you drop all of your "works" baggage and come through alone. One the other side you find heavenly rest. If you try and go through with your perfect attendance pins and Bible quiz trophies, or any of your own righteousness, you simply won't fit. Jesus is the narrow gate. Religion always teaches that you can get to God by doing something. Your good standing with God depends on what you do. Do the law, perform religion, do it right, look good, try hard. They look like sheep, and they appear to be the safest, most righteous, but they lead people down the wrong path. Jesus plus anything is not Jesus!

"There is a conspiracy of her prophets in her midst, like a roaring lion tearing the prey. They have devoured lives; they have taken treasure and precious things; they have made many widows in the midst of her. Her princes within her are like wolves tearing the prey, by shedding blood and destroying lives in order to get dishonest gain" (ezekiel 22:25,27).

It was part of Jesus' mission to expose an abusive system. It's important to remember four things about his confrontations. First, His confrontations landed on those who saw themselves as God's official spokespersons--the most religious, the best performers. Second, Jesus broke the religious rules by confronting those in authority out loud. Third, He was treated as the problem because He said there was a problem. And forth, crowds of broken people rushed to Him because His message offered hope and rest.

Paul's Battle

[Paul had preached the good news in Galatia. Afterward,] he learned that a group of people had followed behind him and spread a teaching that demanded the people be circumcised as an added proof of their spirituality.

"For those who are circumcised do not even keep the law themselves, but they desire to have you circumcised, that they may boast in your flesh" (galatians 3:13).

You see, living with Jesus as your only source of life and acceptance is a confrontation to those who seek God's approval on the basis of their own religious behavior.

This, then, will explain the pressure you feel to perform religious behaviors in spiritually abusive contexts. If you [obey their message],

1] it will make them look good
2] their self-righteousness will escape the scrutiny of the cross of Christ as the only means to God's favor
3] it will allow them to examine you instead of themselves
4] they will be able to boast in or gain a sense of validation from your religious performance

And it's all cloaked in the language of being holy and helping others to live holy lives.

"I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you, and want to distort the gospel of Christ" (Galatians 1:6-7).

In other words, those who are "disturbing" you are urging you to commit treason. Paul took it very seriously when someone replaced the spiritual life of grace and rest with a life of imposed works.

In 1 Timothy 6:5 he warns that these erring teachers "suppose that godliness is a means of gain." They act godly not because they are godly, but to gain something. Have you ever met a contented legalist, a truly restful religious "performer"? No such person.

In Titus 1:9-10 Paul says:

"An overseer must hold fast to the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, that he may be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families."

Leaders are given to the church to protect the flock from legalists who push religious performance as the means to right standing or favor with God. Paul tells us that these rebellious men must be silenced.

Noticing a problem does not make you the problem. Remember, Paul urged the Ephesians to "be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock." (acts 20:28)

We believe that all of us, as Christians, need to be on guard - not only against specific leaders and systems that throw their spiritual weight around, but against the subtle use of "formulas" and doctrines that are so often used to press good people of the faith into conformity with a religious system instead of conformity to Christ.



{1} "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing & Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church," by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen. Bethany House Publishers, 1991; pp. 29-32, 35-39