Today I stumbled across a great audio post by a guy named Robb. I loved the contemplation he made over missing the reason for theology. He admits that spiritual disciplines can be transformed by the enemy in to temptation to stay away from God. He says, in my ears, that there is a way to be a pharisee about not becoming like a pharisee.
Last week I retuned to Birthright. I was gone after a whole summer off. I needed the time off because my children, ages 7, almost 5, and 1+1/2, are too much to keep in order while talking to the ladies that come in for pregnancy tests. Now that is school has started up again, I get to go back with just my baby boy. I hope I can keep him cute, and quiet! :)
Birthright was started in Toronto, Canada in 1968-the first pregnancy support service in history. The woman who founded it, Louise Summerhill, shares how it was brought into being in "The Story of Birthright." She was the mother of six children, and the effort to organize such a service was ironically "an unwanted burden" in her life.
The story begins with that famous line:
The essence of the Birthright service is love.
At the Birthright conferences I have attended, they always make it clear that we are Birthright everywhere we go, and I believe that. Summerhill goes on:
We should not underestimate the power of love. We do not need professional training in order to listen, to understand, to love. The fact is that the caseworker who is guided by knowledge more than love, will experience only failure in her human relationship. True compassion recognizes no boundaries nor lays down any conditions.
We, in Birthright, rely on intuition, common sense, and a loving receptive attitude, free of all judgment.
Judgment vanishes with love. We do not meddle in morality, and knowing this, girls come to us without fear of being made to feel more guilty than they already do. And who, amongst us, can say they are guilty. We are all alike, forgiven sinners.
Because we do not know them, the girls give us their confidence, and we in turn, listen without prejudice. Then, as they unburden themselves of their deep distress and feelings of guilt, they become healed by our virtue of non-judgment. Every time we experience this we are overwhelmed to see it, once again, as a sign of God's grace.
"God is love and he who abides in love abides in God" (st. John's Letter 4:12).
When we discover a living truth we find it most difficult to put into words, and I am afraid of shifting the accent from the realm of the heart to the realm of the mind.
Love means to care and serve and be responsible for other people, so that, as soon as we see another in distress, we immediately respond. All of us are frail and inadequate and sinful and only in discovering these things about ourselves, can we truly grow up. How I wish I could convey to you the great value of love and non-judgment in this work, but I know, that it will only be when you experience this miracle yourselves that you will fully understand it.
Here, she discusses the role judgment takes in the transformation of a woman's mind from choosing abortion, to choosing life:
In rare cases only, as with this girl, some can be helped if their mistakes are pointed out and if judgment of them is formulated, provided it is done with a helpful, non-critical approach. Severity is sometimes the measure of love. Like surgery, it may be the only way to heal. Yet, even as I say this, I cannot but denounce the crushing effect of judgment. Some people die under the surgeon's knife. Girls must be welcomed with no sign of criticism, as persons of worth and dignity. Criticism blocks the way to grace and our voice drowns out the voice of God which can only be heard in silence. If girls seeking abortions are to recognize their wrong-doing, it will be in the quiet of recollection, or in the kind atmosphere of a talk with someone who will not criticize, but will love.
God's judgment is always quite different from ours. That is the reason Our Lord said, "Judge not." Let us notice that He did not say, "Judge not wrongly." We are to be free of all judgment. Judgment is destructive.
I myself, wilt under judgment, and am so vulnerable that I am liable to be paralyzed for days by the destructive elements of judgment.
Information is intellectual, but communion is spiritual, and although we need information to achieve communion, it is only through communion that we understand people, not as cases, but as persons. When we have established a communion of love with a person, only then are we, each, able to show ourselves, as we are, without acting a part.
The girl who sobs out her disappointments, her failures, her faults, may be nearer to the Kingdom of God than I who listen to her, and I come nearer to God and to her, insofar as I recognize that I am guilty, and powerless, and solitary.
I once heard a zealous Christian say that she would do nothing to help these girls because they "deserved what was coming to them." This is not an uncommon viewpoint. Recently, a worker left our employ because she could not condone our attitude of total acceptance of sinners. They say an unwanted pregnancy is not our responsibility. People who think like this, and profess to be Christians, would do well to re-examine their thinking. This attitude is, in reality, a product of a moralistic deformation of the Christian message. One time, a friend, a good Christian, discussed that she thought unmarried girls are being encouraged in their "wrongdoing" by our helping them.
"How is it possible," she said, "that you can condone actions contrary to the laws of God?"
I answered, "How much wrongdoing can you or I say is involved? Also, are we to help only sinless people? We are all forgiven sinners. If we are to start eliminating sinners, then I must start with myself." Did not David say, "I have gone astray like a lost sheep..." (Psalm 119, 176).
I esteem this woman who is sincere and far from pharisaical. However, moralism is more apt to creep into the thinking of Christians who are most careful of their own moral conduct. At one time, it was common to explain illegitimacy on the basis of congenital weakness of character, mental deficiency and immorality. Today, we are examining individual emotional and environmental factors which can contribute to pregnancy in the unmarried teenager and older girl. Moralism must give way to understanding and help."
In the same way, I think about the person who is different than me, and I must believe that there are, as of yet, undiscovered reasons why they do and think as they are, without assuming a flaw in character or intentions. At least, no flaw more than I have already seen in myself.
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