Faithless, hiding behind my intellect

This is a topic I've been wanting to share a-bit a-bout for a-while.

To its credit, knowledge is often spiritual, meaning God's Spirit is in it. And knowledge is a good thing, if used wisely.

But all I can see these days is how it has become a weakness for me.

Even in the choice of my own private alone time, I find it a lure as the "easy way out" to choose to spend my time studying/reading instead of praying, or studying instead of submitting to my children's more silly desires. I often don't end up choosing to clean my house or whatever it is that I could (not even shoulds, just simply the possiblities) be doing when considering the comfort of reading and compiling.

I've always believed in former times that those who understand the truth and have an answer for those who inquire are the ones who are more useful to impact the world for God. But I now doubt that high estimation I've made. Consider how I served a homeless man this week, and treated him like a king not only in my service to him but also in my deliberate and conscious effort to just let him talk about God. He never gets "listened to," compared to someone like me. Doesn't he deserve to be treated like a king, for just a moment?

How about the people who are talking about God in church? You know they sometimes say some wacky things to my ears. And it kills me painfully to listen to them beat around the bush in their perception of the use and application of the Word, for, going on five minutes, when I have a beautifully worded, scripturally memorized, back-water but totally applicable, passage ready to just summarize what they were working for. Ahhh! Something is terribly askew here, and it may very well be my self-righteousness rather than their needs! I'm finally starting to get this now. My frustration reminds me that I need to stop being surprised that it is better for people to work through the answer on their own rather than being told what it is.

So I'm stepping back.

I'm just going to cast off the burden.

Guess what trumps knowledge? Do you know? (Now I am resorting back to my old tricks, but I have turned the gun on myself this time.) :) I preach this probably every day (if not to others than at least in my head)... faith!! Faith. If joe-schmoe Christian has trusted God today, then how little the gain if they can explain scripture! God finds them fully useful and armed to do His work and make His proclamations. Lesson learned: am I where God is(?), because this is my only hope for being a tool for His efforts at any given moment.

If God wants to use me with my knowledge, then, I'm going to wait for an actual and honest:

1) lull, in the conversation, and
2) question, directed at me

There.

That's much easier said than done, but my resolve has been made nevertheless.

An amazing thing happens when I stop talking about what I know and "listen in quietness." I actually learn so much more thoroughly. I am sure you can hear my attitude of superiority. How terrible that is, to my shame! I need to learn how much I don't understand, and how much others do.