Focal Point

Here is the centerpiece of the wisdom God gave me three days ago, which made me tremble....

In John 1:10-11, it says about Christ:

"The world, though it owed its being to him, did not recognize him. He entered his own realm, and his own would not receive him."

I was struck by it... the sacrifice God made all the time by that choice of being not only God but also a man while on earth. Why didn't He come only as the Almighty?

I know two things about Christ's expression of himself in relation to us, thinking off the top of my head. He is our creator and sustainer. Imagine how Christ would have been fulfilled in His heart if He was understood as the creator while he was still on earth 2000 years ago. But the disciples didn't get it; when they were in the boat and a storm came, they asked afterward, "Who is this man who can control the sea?" Imagine the love the disciples would have absorbed if they knew that their Creator was there to provide for them in the storm. Imagine how differently the outcome of the boatride would have been if they already knew that before they began. They could have been more intimate and joyful with Christ, and Christ would have been fulfilled in His heart.

I also know that Christ describes Himself as being our groom as we are His bride. Jesus talked often in the gospels about how today was the time to celebrate as long as He was on earth, to drink wine while the bride and the groom were together. Jesus had a passion to be with us, and it is implied that He would have been fulfilled to have us be passionate and united with Him. Instead, we wait to see this fulfilled in His and our hearts; when He returns we will be united as we always longed to be. For now, we wait.

Christ has particular features to His character and attributes. He is not made but He is a God of purposes, and His heart He has made known.

I spent 7 months trying to conceive this child, which for me seemed so long. I started to resign myself for no baby and that is when I became pregnant. I am ready to love this child. I was made by God to love my children. This is the way I was made, it is an undeniable aspect of my makeup. In the same way, Christ is known for His undeniable attributes. He is the creator of the world, the sustainer of the universe. He is the one who loves us and longs to be with us as the groom is to a bride. Wasn't He denying His very being by letting the expressions of His attributes be left... unfulfilled? Wasn't this a service of worship offered to honor the Father who appointed all this to happen? He entered His realm, and we as women have entered our realm of loving our conceptions. Yet He remained not recognized. And when we surrender our chance to keep our baby and live with them for the length of their life, we also leave our qualities not recognized. To let His makeup be unfulfilled was the path for Him designed from eternity so that He could point out His hope in heaven and a God who was worthy of everything.

Can I allow God to let my makeup be unfulfilled?

This is a question that deserves a lot of honesty.

If so, how much?

In what ways?

In every way? Am I to understand that surrender of my fulfillment is meant to be in inversely correlated to what is already supplied to me without my effort to secure, equaling to a life of interaction that is totally at peace with all whom I meet??

Do I trust Him to carry me through all these multiplying potentials of little and great unfulfillments? He and I, together designed to fulfill a romantic purpose in the realism of heartbrake? I would surely hold to Him as my soulmate if I walked this path; the only one who understands me, the only one who walks before me and beside me.

I feel utterly weak, and intimidated, and yet bold and ready.