Relationship

What is a relationship with Jesus' fundamental function look like?

"because they will not turn to me and let me heal them."

It's so simple. The things I am hurt about, confused about, worried about--those are the things God wants from me. Not my "deeds." Not my "works." Just my heart. For out of the heart springs all the words and deeds which are most true to my identity and spiritual destination.

Any day, I say when I get hurt: "That hurt me, God, when that happened. Be there for me?? Make it go away. Make me whole and healed. Then, next time I see that person, I won't be still hurt, but it instead will be easy to make sure I am taking care of them. Then they will see that you are a good God; a healer."

And isn't this summarized by the greatest commandment? Examine the steps to greater exaultation: Love your neighbor. = Treat others as better than yourself. = Whoever loses his life will gain it. = This is how we know what love is; Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.

It is easy to be "others-oriented" when all your own needs are met! When you're full-up on love, it's no sweat to smile! "Why do you fight and quarrel? Is it not because you do not have what you want?" Isn't that James, in the bible?

The way that we become like what the bible commands is through letting us be loved personally by the Lord God Almighty.

I have been warned in counsel to not be afraid to take help from others. To not think of it as diminishing God's chance to give me strength. It is not a sin against God to accept relief in human channels, because depending on the source, God is intending to use others to minister to me, and God wants me to be plain in my weakness to others.

But for now that is more theory and uninspiring, than noteworthy. I praise God that He has shown himself to be the only relationship that matters. I like it this way, especially now that I am more comfortable with his healing my brokenness. I really am growing to think that I like letting God alone meet my needs--the distressed without satisfaction-kind of needs. Which is formulated into almost every decision I make, really....

My husband is a tremendously godly man. I thank God for his every way. If there were any exception to this, my husband is exceptional for being so ready and so rightly placed by God to love me even in a way that mimics God and not mere mortals. He is so far ahead of me in that progression I outlined above--a minister to others instead of a "ministered-to"-type. I hope to mimic him with time.

You know what I love about God?

I love how he was so jealous that He has killed my sense for human oneness. Even six months ago I could watch any bit of any movie which had for example a love interest element, and my heart would be in it. Either a little bit or a lot. But I just don't have the room for it anymore. It doesn't make any emotional sense now. Is this weird? I find it to be quite relieving, actually. I listen to the lover in a movie say, "love is unkind--it tears apart and proves envy like nothing else." And I just think, "How foolish. He doesn't need to suffer so much. He's deluded. Go to God and you'll find real love."

It's not an anger or disillusionment which has caused the switch; that's the funny and interesting part. It's because I see how fragmented and unsoothing such a state of human connection always is. And I see it that way, because I currently have true love. I knew at the outset that there was good in my falling from grace in the sense of my search for human comradery... I began my thorough reorg under God's firm hand starting back in February. I wasn't afraid. Oh; yes, I was afraid, afraid for the depth of my evil, what I could be given or taken away, how I might hurt others... but I also was eager because I knew the miraculous end that was only a lofty goal then-now reality. I had a vision given by God that I would be free from misplaced human relationships through healing, and here I am, vision fulfilled.

People are spending all their time and effort making sketches of flowers to enjoy when they are living in a forest filled with them.