In a very real sense, the spiritually abusive system is a spiritual trap. ... As we've already seen, spiritually abusive systems are hard to leave. The leaders assume power and demand obedience. They foster loyalty to the organization with implied or overt scare tactics and threats. Leaving the system is equal to leaving God and His protection. Paranoia about the evils outside the system makes people afraid to leave. This begins the building of a trap. Then comes the bait.{1}
There are many kinds of bait in the spiritually abusive church, family or organization. "Right standing with God" is probably the most common bait. In 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, Paul says that false apostles "disguise themselves as servants of righteousness." The abusive system gives people an opportunity to earn God's approval with their own positive self-effort. In fact, this bait is so appealing that people fail to notice several things.
For instance, they learn to ignore others around them who point out that they are being neglected or mistreated. They overlook it when they grow more tired as time goes on. They ignore the fact that people close to them are leaving and urging them to leave. They are oblivious to how it is becoming easier to justify the things that not too long ago they abhorred.
Other baits might include: the approval of people; religious status or position; a paycheck; the promise that things will improve; or an opportunity to be shamed or mistreated in a way that is consistent with their sense of deserving to be punished for being so "bad."
In addition to everything else these people ignore, they overlook the fact that their goal keeps moving out of reach. ... If they want to stop struggling, a voice within "warns" them: "What if you give up now, just when you were about to have a spiritual 'breakthrough'?"
{1} "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing & Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church," by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen. Bethany House Publishers, 1991; pp. 184-185
2 comments:
Hi Michele
Great thoughts by these guys. It is so subtle isn't it?
What is most frustating is those who have been trapped are now doing the trapping. And almost everyone is zealous and sincere in pleasing God. The protestant church is doing just like the Jews when Jesus came the first time.
There really is nothing new under the sun.
Do you know why I think the bait works? If you look at the examples of the bait put forth, nearly every one of them draws from our desire to be accepted. When our foundation of being unconditionally accepted by God in Christ is flawed or forgotten thru deception then sin is crouching at our door just like Cain.
Even though Cain physically murdered Abel, we can still murder our brothers in our hearts.
I wrote the following blog post 3 years ago. If you have time I would love for you to read it and tell me what you think. Be critical, thats how I grow.
http://okie-dokies.blogspot.com/2005/09/where-do-you-get-your-praise.html
I enjoy reading your post, Michele, I don't always comment because of time, but I do read.
Grace
Kris
Kris,
Ohh, praise the LORD!
you said:
What is most frustating is those who have been trapped are now doing the trapping. And almost everyone is zealous and sincere in pleasing God.
Yes! People learn by example.
you said:
When our foundation of being unconditionally accepted by God in Christ is flawed or forgotten thru deception then sin is crouching at our door just like Cain.
Yep.
You get this, you see it. The greatest accomplishment Satan ever made was to get our attention off the Son and onto ourself. And I know this is perhaps for some people hard to accept, but, even theology can shift our focus, unfortunately.
We must be on guard to keep our religion Spiritual.
Thank-you for the blessing of your conversation. I will check out your blog post. I'm eager to read it.
-Michele
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