Name's Sake

It is a lie to think that God prefers the outward more than the inward. I used to think that to be obedient in my own walk was much more difficult, than the task of speaking truth into someone's life. Now I find the reverse is true. I find it a relief to be free to meditate and grow up my own personal affairs in Christ.

My husband and I met while on a college group mission trip from Corvallis, Oregon, to Provo, Utah, in the spring of 2000. Yes: we were going to go and evangelize to Mormons. He and I got to know each other just a little bit on that trip, but he was a godly and quiet man and I wanted to be a part of his life. The trip was highly conflicting to me. Not only did I not know any single person on the trip (except my older woman mentor), but Provo was my childhood home. My mom was a retired Mormon and I was just barely aware that I was a Christian. I realized while on the bus somewhere in Idaho, that we were going there to tell them that their religion was false, and I thought, "Could this really be true?"

I walked away thinking I knew something about what the bible had to say regarding salvation. Ha! In the summer of 2002 I began talking online in two main areas: LDS, and those exiting a damaging cult I had accidentally also got caught up in. I chose a screen nickname: "Sanctification." I had been hunting around for a good one, not any fad. This was back in the days when anonymity online was crucial, do you remember that? It wasn't that long ago I suppose. I still prefer to be called "Sanc." I'm not quite arrived in comfort with being called "Michele" when online, which free grace has done to me, but I suppose that the world keeps getting smaller and smaller. The online reputation and real life's reputation best be one.

I could barely understand the definition when I picked it! There is a magnitude there in my nickname that keeps cutting me to the heart the farther I walk with God. I didn't want to be arrogant. To me, when I chose that name, all I was thinking is, "In the end, none of this will matter unless Christ is here with me." A couple years later I began a fascination with the doctrine of sanctification by faith alone, so I can't say I planned that either.

Time to get serious. Satan wants to take me down. It certainly is a tall order: sanctification. I didn't always, but now I am committed to make no resting place for the flesh. Psalm 15:

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

"May the LORD have his way in me, that I would please Him, that I would have the guts to draw lines I need to draw, that I would keep a Spiritual reign on my tongue, that there would be no hypocrisy in me, that I would not be deceived into establishing disordered loves."