A Milestone

I'm about to be turning thirty.

I pretty much dealt with it when I turned 27 -- that was close enough.

Does it make any difference?

I see some negatives.... For instance about a year ago I got a single gray hair on my temple. Now I have five. So I guess from here on out I'll be regularly "taking care of that." That's okay, though; who doesn't like to get away from the kids for three hours every few months? I'll call that a perk of being a thirty-something.

And, some positives. I was walking through Safeway today and Fred Meyer yesterday and, over the intercom both times I heard Mariah Carey's "Can't Let Go." Don't think I've heard it in ten years. It took over me and I was having a moment right there in the store. A resurrection of the heart of a... twelve year old? Wow. I've been noticing for a few years that the shopper's soundtrack is filled up with the likes of Toni Braxton, Celine's early unknown stuff, Madonna -- my music. Now I am the generation that wields influence of buckage they most want.

Season Three of "La Femme Nikita" was a Christmas gift and while watching an episode I had to count how long it has been since I first saw it aired on tv. This time I counted nine. The series started six months after I graduated high school. And, as I was pregnant, newly married and reclining in a chair in our first home I remember holding a box of kleenex & watching the finale. I will probably always think of how old I am by counting years post-Nikita. Both she and I were thrown into harsh circumstances together at the same time since the very first episode. She was pulled right in off the streets with an ultimatum:

MADELINE: "They seem to think you have potential."
NIKITA: "Who's 'they'? Who are you?"
MADELINE: "I'm Madeline. 'They' are Section One. They own you now."
NIKITA: "Didn't know I was for sale."
MADELINE: "Please; sit down. If you want to live, it has to be on their terms. So, please, do sit down. ... Look at yourself. Admire yourself. See your beauty? You can learn to shoot. You can learn to fight. But there's no weapon as powerful as your femininity. ... We're family, now, Nikita."



I'm thankful for the years of comfort that have passed between me and that stage in my life. I have three beautiful children and a kind husband. I have so much to be thankful for and I am thankful for them. They have made me fulfilled. I guess that makes me one of the lucky ones.

I am afraid to grow old. But as long as I keep following after the places Grace leads me, I know my essence is preserved.