My Obsession

For the last two or three weeks I have been studying the bible for evidence that Jesus is as much YHWH God, as the Father.

It has consumed me. I can think of nothing else. When I brush my teeth or make dinner all I do is wait patiently until I can have some time to consider these things again on my own. As I approach my routein quiet times, I begin to breathe heavy, my heart starts to beat fast, and my adrenaline starts pumping. Oh, to just have some more time to consider this all!

It's why I haven't been blogging. So while you see an absence here you will now know where my mind and heart is.

I keep finding more and more angles, more scripture to amaze me, more terminology that expresses the comfort I see by God's Word to call the Son of Man the exaulted God.

This is the easy part of life. For me. It has been awhile since God has given me such a resounding "yes" in permission to get to know Him and have my faith grow in Him, by means of study. Instead for the last year or two my faith and knowledge of Him has been made to stretch by means of experience instead, or else refraining from speaking or reading the Word, instead. You see, it isn't enough to make me obedient in God's eyes just to read the bible. One must also let God discipline and make them self-controlled to be able to see Christ in living life and through practicing the knowledge you already have. And I know that, so I am all the more thankful for the permission I have at this moment, to do my favorite.

I know that His answer is yes, because He has made my life so very powerful since I began studying it. God used an exclamation point to end the following sentence explaining His passion to be understood by those who want to love Him in a relationship:

"You search the scriptures looking for eternal life, but the Scriptures point to me!" john 5:39

I have had kinds of services to God that I have thus far only dreamed about; preaching and teaching to people who are in need to hear it and want to know; not just one, but several. Wow! Ministering in other kinds of services too. What's more, my life has been like the second son in the parable of the father who commanded his sons to do something, and the older one said "yes" but didn't do it yet the younger said, "no" but then thought better of it and went and did it. The younger is the one God approves. I think it makes Him pleased to let it be my experience to have wretched mornings in terms of wanting to face Him, and then being one over in an instant so that my afternoons are amazing to my eyes! He gets all the glory in my heart, and it is this kind of yield that He has been leading me toward for some time now.

All this accomplishment on His part I tack up to studying and believing more and more, how the humble servant of God is the one who sits at the center of the throne. It has made everything new. I cannot do anything in my normal routein without feeling the jolt of knowing that YHWH is Jesus. Every praise I sing, every flower I see, every laugh from my children, it all is new and amazing to me.

And now you know why my heart beats fast.