budding-baby-boy

Sometimes I watch the baby sleeping and I think of him with a "her" pronoun, catching myself by surprise. But this is no girl-baby; no, this little one is going to be a man. Right now he's just a baby and all babies have been girls to my thinking.

I never thought till this week what that would mean... in the future. I only spent time thinking about the wild busyness of toddlers. He looks innocuous enough. But he's going to grow up to be way taller than me. And bigger than me. He's going to want to date girls....

Then I had another thought. I might always be the one woman who is perfect in his eyes, to which he compares every other. He will always love me. He will always be tender-hearted toward me. This boy will be unlike any other kind of relationship I have known.

For now I delight in his baby ways. He swings his fist on the end of a straight arm in a circle around my face. Then he bends his arm and swings that little fist in a circle around his mouth. I translate that "You; here." And when we sleep together I move him as far away as I can without him losing contact. He's a good baby. It's enough for him to pound his fist randomly on my shoulder to make sure I'm still there, although as he grows that pounding till he's asleep gets harder and harder!