A Surprise Letter

Back in the summer of 2002 I had recently been married and had given birth and moved to my current home. I prayed to get involved in a bible study and later that week I was invited to a bible study with the International Church of Christ (ICOC). After several weeks of getting to know them and studying with them they told me, "You are not yet saved because you haven't been baptized truly understanding and agreeing to become a disciple of Christ."

Many of you who know me, know this story. You know how it floored me, how I went home and I tried to find out for myself whether I was really saved or not. It started me reading my bible like crazy, and I read it for about 8 months about 5-12 hours a day (I was a stay-at-home mom with just one child). I had acquired over 200 pages of notes of study myself, before I started an online collection. Since I was told this by this "cult" I have been filled with a passion for expressing to myself and to others the biblical and experiential difference of what a saved life agrees to be.

I had only a few, precious studies with this lady who hosted these studies, where I could share with her that so far in my understanding, I was inclined to disagree about salvation, and then she moved away. And that was it. I wrote her a letter, and we sent Christmas cards.

This year I opened up my Christmas card and here was the letter inside:

(Since the only person who knows who this lady is my husband I don't believe there is any way to compromise her confidence.)

"Michele,

"I hope it doesn't seem odd to be hearing from me after a long absence of communication. I've found it difficult to write you because I've not been able to communicate my thoughts and express them in the way I'd hope. So, please forgive me for my failings and for leaving you in the dark when you've been such a good friend to me.

"Over these past two years there has been a fall-out of the International Church of Christ, so I've been given the chance to search out and challenge my 'convictions' like never before. It's required me to humble myself and admit things I really didn't want to. For example, I had studied the bible with many people (including you) from 1996 to 2003 using the same 'biblical' rational that was used with me in my introductory study. While these studies were meant to help people build deep convictions in and on God's word, I now see that they also hurt people's relationship with God by subtly interferring (though never actually saying) that a Christian's life was to look one certain way and should demonstrate conditions of commitment, service, baptism, and evangelism as interpreted by church leadership. This developed a culture of legalism within the church and God's grace became more and more difficult to grasp.

"I've always felt protected by our Lord, but never more so in these last two years. He's led me to a body of believers which intensely studies God's word, but which always puts out the sovereignty of God's grace before everything else. Instead of discounting people's faith, it observes and upholds the tiniest display of faith. The source and shepherd of our faith is glorified and hope is refreshed continuously. My heart has felt conflicted (and convicted) with emotions of sadness for my sisters and brothers hurt by the legalistic culture of the ICOC; of remorse for my own part in steering others into that culture, and of joy because of the freedom I've experienced once more as I cling to God's grace.

"I ask for your forgiveness Michele for trying to have you read more into the scriptures than is actually there regarding baptism. It was never my intent to hurt you as I sincerely believed at the time that what I was teaching was according to God's word. I appreciate the love and and patience you displayed toward me in your want to continue to study the topic so that we might gain a mutual understanding. I praise God for his kindness in gently leading me to better understanding and for placing people like you in my life.

"I hestitated to write you in 2004 and into 2005 because I still wasn't clear on what I believed regarding baptism. Over the summer I studied out this topic of baptism again, especially the point that baptism is the point in time that a person is saved. I came to the conclusion that baptism is -a part- of the salvation process and something God requires us to do, (there are too many examples throughout the NT to discount it), but that faith is the only thing necessary for salvation. 'This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.' Romans 3:22a

"So, Michele, my prayer is for your encouragement, perserverance, and discernment. I hope my clouded understanding did not cause you to think that faith alone is insufficient for one's salvation. Baptism is a wonderful mystery and has its perfect purpose for which our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will reveal at the perfect time. I am content with that."

And then she closes with some highlights of her family.

Here's what I clung to back in November: "When, by my own faults and indifference, or the distractions of the world, I have drifted from this changeless principle (and imagined that I might -avoid- the deaths and somehow be fruitful) the words have rung again in the ears of my soul, -if it die, if it die, if it die-." --Elliot

I laid down being there at LDS Digital so that I could walk by faith. It's hard to choose to bottle up passion for the gospel. But look at the way God has blessed it. He has given me this precious woman back, who wants to encourage me and whom I want to encourage! I am honored to talk to someone who -wants to talk about- freedom in Christ. I need that.

Not only that but the week following my choice to not be there with the LDS online, our sunday school teacher announced that we are going to be studying Galatians. He looked right at me because he's known for a long time how I want to have unity with the body in understanding over the topic of what it means that Christians are dead to the law. I am blessed to be able to share with my class what I have learned, or if I have not learned much, to learn from them what I lack.

So I see how the Gospel in my heart is not bottled up as I once thought it'd be.

I'm blessed.