Dependent?

Two nights ago was the first time I have ever been prompted to pray before: "Make me dependent every moment on you."

I think I am beginning to see how come I always dredded a relationship with the Lord. It is because the idea of needing to go to prayer or the word for every decision I make seems so -- crippling -- . Who has the time or the interest to submit so often and so much of my everyday life? I'd run out of day to live. I've never asked anyone their opinion that much on anything. Not even when I was a child! Even when I was a child I wanted to do most everything without imput from my parents, or anyone else who was wise.

Everyone around me seems to be saying the same thing:

"And the Lord is saying to me right now, you know Sydney you really need me. No, Sydney; YOU REALLY NEED ME." (name is changed to protect the unknowing)

"When the time came for Abraham to rescue Lot, or for you to rescue others, will you be ready like he was?"

"I measure life's accomplishment not by what I have gained but by what I have given away."

I am finally assenting mentally. God is also working this out in my heart, building a good work, because I spend a lot of my time in the day depressed because I can't pray or read my bible.

It's coming.