Some readers here may have known through facebook about what happened to Elena, a friend of mine. I created a multi-admin blog for everyone who loved her who is internet-inclined to publish their own feelings at this time. It's not much, I feel otherwise useless.
For Elena, Our Dear Friend
When a heart grieves, it becomes confused and hurt, and doubts. Things that were once clear are now muddy. It's the love that clears things again. It is never a waste to love someone to the point that my heart is now naturally wounded. It's not a waste of my heartbeats even if it ends in a shocking and unexpected way. Even if I never get to see someone be strengthened by the mutifaceted nature of Christ's salvation. Even if they fail or lose their way and get worse, it is still enough. Love is enough. I am so thankful to God that I was filled to share the love of God with her! I am thankful that she was truly loved by the Church, God's people. I praise God knowing that she was loved by Jesus so deeply through His people! It makes me celebrate inside.
Why is love enough to Jesus?
There's a most famous verse about love not being enough. Jesus sent out the 12 on their first mission trip. Well, that word "mission trip" sounds too haughty sometimes to me. How about describing a mission trip the way Jesus did? "Freely you have received; freely give" (Matt. 10:8). Verse 14,
Jesus was the Master of being received into the house of the disenfranchised and simply celebrate being together.
If we get to have a funeral I hope to hear many stories of God's power in Elena's life, and how she believed in Jesus even though she suffered from mental handicap. I wanted most for her to be safe and stable. We often prayed or talked about Jesus. She started a bible study with me over skype. We were good friends, we both loved fashion and many of my most favorite items were Elena's selections for me. I want to write fun memories of her. Her being far from her country made her friends, her family.
It's hard to know someone you wanted so much to be safe - has been murdered. I know that it was beyond my control and it enters the realm of God's plans and Satan's craftiness, which is beyond me. I fear God. There are some things I'm struggling to understand, and one of them I can share out loud. I want to get my theology straightened out in case it's wrinkled. I could use some discussion.
I'm trying to jump start my brain about a God who sees us and cares for us. The usual religious word for God's overall power to shape our lives is called God's "sovereignty." But there's a flip side which is also true. This flip side is what is often referred to with various names: free will, free agency; basically, human choice. God dignifies human choice. Both choice and sovereignty are real. But how can I wrap my mind around it?
What can I say? I'm not a Calvinist. I don't believe everything is in God's power and none is in ours. I believe "it's up to us," yet God will completely lead and empower us in an ironic state of biblical "rest" through letting Him work. Vying for someone's physical, personal safety here on earth is important to God. Just think of abortion as a great example of how we believe in the importance of safety. I wonder what happens to real people when they are helpless and they really don't receive tangible help? Don't they really perish?
"Freely you have received, freely give."
Does God vouch for us as we love those we are passioned for? Does His Spirit partner with us and our righteous, Kingdom-advancing intents? Or does He have a plan that is so mysterious that we shouldn't take our human sense of responsibility and ambition for the gospel (Romans 2:7) too seriously?
I'm just trying to sort out what happened, here. I need a few new notes in my head to encourage my heart. Maybe I'm short on the mystery of God and His sovereign choices. I knew what my plans were... you know? It was to continue to love those whom I love, with God's power which works in me.
God is always altogether different than me. I want to see Him and know Him as He is. What do you think God might be up to? Can this be at all related to what God permitted Satan to do to Job?
Look forward to some thoughts.
For Elena, Our Dear Friend
When a heart grieves, it becomes confused and hurt, and doubts. Things that were once clear are now muddy. It's the love that clears things again. It is never a waste to love someone to the point that my heart is now naturally wounded. It's not a waste of my heartbeats even if it ends in a shocking and unexpected way. Even if I never get to see someone be strengthened by the mutifaceted nature of Christ's salvation. Even if they fail or lose their way and get worse, it is still enough. Love is enough. I am so thankful to God that I was filled to share the love of God with her! I am thankful that she was truly loved by the Church, God's people. I praise God knowing that she was loved by Jesus so deeply through His people! It makes me celebrate inside.
Why is love enough to Jesus?
There's a most famous verse about love not being enough. Jesus sent out the 12 on their first mission trip. Well, that word "mission trip" sounds too haughty sometimes to me. How about describing a mission trip the way Jesus did? "Freely you have received; freely give" (Matt. 10:8). Verse 14,
And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.This would mean that if people don't demonstrate marked improvement because of the gospel of Christ, we should move on. But that isn't all He said. In a less-quoted verse (vs. 40) a little further down, Jesus says,
He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me."Receiving" is, like, having God, the Person. In verse 14, Jesus dismisses a combination of bad indicators; "if they won't receive you AND they even won't hear your words, THEN shake the dust off your feet." But sometimes people don't receive the words at first. Sometimes, we're too broken to get it... for awhile. Thank God for His mercy! Where would I be without mercy?? It is enough to receive someone who you know ultimately what they are all about - they do all they have done in the name of the gospel of Christ. It was rare for my friend to call to talk about the bible, or ponder how to be a follower of God. But she would say, "Michele, would you come and sit with me?"
Jesus was the Master of being received into the house of the disenfranchised and simply celebrate being together.
If we get to have a funeral I hope to hear many stories of God's power in Elena's life, and how she believed in Jesus even though she suffered from mental handicap. I wanted most for her to be safe and stable. We often prayed or talked about Jesus. She started a bible study with me over skype. We were good friends, we both loved fashion and many of my most favorite items were Elena's selections for me. I want to write fun memories of her. Her being far from her country made her friends, her family.
It's hard to know someone you wanted so much to be safe - has been murdered. I know that it was beyond my control and it enters the realm of God's plans and Satan's craftiness, which is beyond me. I fear God. There are some things I'm struggling to understand, and one of them I can share out loud. I want to get my theology straightened out in case it's wrinkled. I could use some discussion.
I'm trying to jump start my brain about a God who sees us and cares for us. The usual religious word for God's overall power to shape our lives is called God's "sovereignty." But there's a flip side which is also true. This flip side is what is often referred to with various names: free will, free agency; basically, human choice. God dignifies human choice. Both choice and sovereignty are real. But how can I wrap my mind around it?
What can I say? I'm not a Calvinist. I don't believe everything is in God's power and none is in ours. I believe "it's up to us," yet God will completely lead and empower us in an ironic state of biblical "rest" through letting Him work. Vying for someone's physical, personal safety here on earth is important to God. Just think of abortion as a great example of how we believe in the importance of safety. I wonder what happens to real people when they are helpless and they really don't receive tangible help? Don't they really perish?
"Freely you have received, freely give."
Does God vouch for us as we love those we are passioned for? Does His Spirit partner with us and our righteous, Kingdom-advancing intents? Or does He have a plan that is so mysterious that we shouldn't take our human sense of responsibility and ambition for the gospel (Romans 2:7) too seriously?
I'm just trying to sort out what happened, here. I need a few new notes in my head to encourage my heart. Maybe I'm short on the mystery of God and His sovereign choices. I knew what my plans were... you know? It was to continue to love those whom I love, with God's power which works in me.
God is always altogether different than me. I want to see Him and know Him as He is. What do you think God might be up to? Can this be at all related to what God permitted Satan to do to Job?
Look forward to some thoughts.
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