Seeking Practical Truths

It seems to me, as I look over things, that my Christianity has been one of too much dreaminess. There's nothing wrong, per se, in thinking deeply into the nature of God in nature and man and life. I certainly take pleasure in that stuff. By calling it dreamy I am not trying to suggest that it has been one without works, because it has not gone uncomplimented and I say that without falling in the trap of comparison. I am trying to say that I would like it to be more sound, more biblically-practical. I'd like to see the theory and concepts be more intimately connected with the circumstances of life. As someone recently said to me, "If there's something wrong with God and His realness, then there's something wrong with your concepts." Boy does that seem the case recently.

I learned in my class last night (yes, I'm taking another one) that the doubt over eternal destination causes doubt over whether we've been given by God the ability to excel. That's a good thought, though my personal problem has been its sister-thought: Had I been given the gift of perseverance? I didn't doubt heaven was for me but I sure did wonder, on the premise that all good works come graciously from God, whether God had destined me to be a success or a failure. And who could know the answer? In fact, by experiencing failure (which I know now why is my own fault), I would be inclined to think that He had not given me much grace to obey. What a sad thought.

But why should I worry and strain to wonder as if I am not in control just because God is sovereign? By knowing my destiny is in my own hands, that God is just and I am responsible for myself, the truth becomes very important to read as if for me to study and apply.

Now that my walk is in my hands, there's only one thing left to do: Learn the truth. Then start practicing it. Sounds simple, but, you know, it's scary. Dreaming seems a lot more familiar. What if it doesn't work, I mean, for me? I confess it's scary, but I soon will be trying it out, to see if it really works.