Does He really know, does He really care?

The authors of Lady in Waiting used the visual of an alabaster box that contained all a woman's expectations and hopes of marriage, but for me I saw it then and also now as methodology by which Jesus would be selected as Lord of my whole life. Why stop with just those specific expectations? I knew it could be all of my hopes, my ideals, my fears... everything.

Just to bring it to Jesus was a big deal; carrying it in my hands, feeling protective of it as I transport it there because of the value of the contents, and setting it down, all were good. Surrendering it, was... a good thing. But the book described the custom with a detail of breaking it, too. Breaking it, so to spread a pleasant aroma at His feet like spilt perfume.

For me the process could not have been permanently effective without the added step of breaking it.

Leaving those items poured out as a mess, unable to gather up again, left me with only Jesus to look at. He knew what was spilt. He watched me bless Him with it. Now He would have to be real with me in response.

So I traded my cares for loving Jesus... whom I had been told, loves me.

No more do I have to mess around with re-reading doctrines of grace; no, no no.... This is superior to everything I learned. It's actual relationship. Somewhere along the way I forsook and forgot it though I never lost it. I am glad to just be living in a relational way with Jesus again. No more fear, no more stress, no more complication.

Waiting for Jesus, and watching for Jesus -- that's all I have to do. Letting Him prove Himself to me.