Lessons Learning

The LORD puts up with me. I'm not really sure why. All I can come up with is the cross. Because nothing else makes sense.

Oops, I wanted to write this blog right after the last one. But too late! I cycled again.

I got good counsel from three people; Pastor Greg, Karen, and my husband.

Here are the questions I asked, and here were their answers:


From Karen:
Q: Is there anything good about going through this constant cycle of sin and obedience?

A: Yes, as we confess sin, which means stop justifying it to ourselves and God and agree to look at our sin His way, a tiny spiritual separation occurs between our old nature and the new life in Christ planted as a seed when we first believed and the Holy Spirit entered our innermost being.

Q: Why doesn't my normal Christian routein work anymore?

A: We dare not trust the sweetest frame (not even our own imparted righteousness!). He gave us grace because He knew we would need it.

Q: How come I've lost that golden touch? I never had two hearts before. How come I've become like the majority; compromised at least in practice, if not by choice?

A: It seems to me that you are revealing that you are comparing yourself with other Christians, and seeing yourself normally as better than they are. We must get ourselves a little lower than the one we need to support.


From Pastor Greg:
Q: I want to get back to where I was. Where it was easy for me to be blessed with His abundant revelations and fruits of the Spirit. I don't have a clue what I need to know or do in order to get back there.

A: Why would you want to go back? I mean, can't there be something even better waiting for you? Even if God is letting you have a hard time now, when you learn what it is that you need to, your understanding of His power and its ability to work through you will be better at that point than where you have come from.

Q: How good is it for me to experience the fact that I would want to sin? How far deep should I expect God to take me?

A: Well when we are tempted to sin, and we follow through, all of that time spent sinning for things we clearly know are wrong, we are not in fellowship with God, we are not where God wants us to be. He never wants us to choose or remain in sin. God's way in this situation is for us to believe that He has provided a way out, and to use it.


And lastly, I had a most important question that I asked all three but only Ben could answer it:
Q: Last year I fell in love with the principle of being buried to produce spiritual seeds around me -- sacrifice. I prayed to God to suffer for Him, and I soon did. Then I prayed again to suffer. There was a period of a month directly after when we were concerned about our finances being reduced, but they actually got better, so that wasn't it. Then, silence. I forgot about my prayer. Now after going through these months of spiritual struggle, I wonder now, was that God's answer?

A: It's likely. He could be giving you a kind of suffering of having to examine and experience the fruit of fleshly sin, in you. You might learn to know He is good and realize you're miserable without Him so it'll train you to practice some consistent effort to make deliberate your faith in Him to save and sustain you.

Q: Is it possible that He knew that in my heart it was less likely there was loss that could scare me? Did He choose to take me through a path of blessing and abundance, instead, to test my heart?

A: Yes, He could have given you what you didn't want, blessing, to prove that you can find ways to challenge your faith and trust in Him in a place of temptation. Not a temptation to sin by doubting God for a loss, but a temptation to sin by holding too tightly to the good gifts He has given you.